Howard Bess: Faith, family, and a competitive spirit define his legacy

Last month, Howard Bess, 95, passed away. A longtime fixture in Palmer, the pastor was known to court controversy with some of his ideas, was also known to be deeply caring and generous for people of all walks of life in their most crucial times of need.

“He touched a lot of live in so many ways,” said son Phil Bess. “He aggressively stuck up for the underdogs.”

“He didn’t want to create controversy, but he always thought and discussed how things could be better,” says son-in-law Joel Neimeyer.

Bess, a veteran who served during the Korean War, later attended Wheaton College, followed by four years at the Garrett Evangelical Theological Seminary at Northwestern University. Upon completion of his Bachelor of Divinity degree, he accepted the call of the American Baptist Convention (ABC) to start a church in Bloomington, California.

“It was very apparent he was well-trained at Seminary. He was very studious when it came to the Bible. He was religious, and tried to live the life that Jesus would live,” said Neimeyer.

While ministering in Goleta, California, during the turbulent 1960’s, Bess felt his unique call to ministry begin to take shape. He engaged in ideas from the Civil Rights Movement about fair housing and equal opportunity, encouraged women to serve as deacons in the church, which was not a part of the Baptist church at that time, and later also welcomed a woman as associate pastor.

From his interest in fair housing came the first of many successful non-profit enterprises Bess helped to found over the years, including the successful low-income housing community Villa La Esperanza in Goleta, of which he was most proud.

Bess was also active in town planning closer to home in Alaska, staying active in roles serving the community, helping found the Palmer Arts Council, Daybreak Mental Health Services, the Institute of Welcoming Resources, Radio Free Palmer, Valley Christian Charities, the Valley Christian Conference, Valley Residential Services, and paid pastoral visits to inmates at the Palmer Correctional Facility.

It was also in Goleta, in the mid-1960s that Howard first became aware that gay and lesbian people were in his congregation and in need of pastoral care and began advocating for their rights.

In 1995, Bess wrote a book called “Pastor, I Am Gay” that chronicled his experience ministering to gays and lesbians and thereafter partially defined his public ministry.

As Neimeyer tells it, after Bess attended a conference, there was a notable shift in Bess in his emotions.

“When he came home, he wasn’t happy, he was angry. He told us, ‘I’m going to write a book about the LGBT and the church.”

The book pleads for ministers and church members alike to becomes acquainted with gay men and lesbians and accept the challenge of reconciliation.

“He viewed the LGBTQ rights to be the same as the fight for civil rights in the 1960’s,” said Phil Bess.

Bess also penned a Faith column for the Mat-Su Valley Frontiersman newspaper, which much like his ministry, courted controversy.

“He was proud of, and never shied away from a challenging conversation about religion, politics, community vision and taking care of those in need.”

The good man was also at times complicated and flawed, and also known to be stubborn.

“It would take him a while to understand how times and things change. Circumstances may change, and it would sometimes take him a long time to re-think ideas, because when he arrived at a solution, it was hard for him to let go.”

One aspect of Bess’s personality that family members highlight was his competitive spirit.

Bess was active in athletics from a young age. He played football, basketball and baseball in high school, but excelled on the gridiron. He graduated high school at age 17 and earned all-conference honors for football that year. In the autumn after graduation, he attended Illinois State University in Normal, Illinois, where as a freshman he started on the varsity football team as a blocking back.

“He played positions in football that allowed for maximum controlled aggression and was rewarded for it. His competitive nature went along with his approach to pastoral care.”

That competitive nature spilled over into Bess’s love of Croquet.

“He had an exquisitely manicured lawn that he mowed by hand, and with its undulating rolls and rises, it was like a golf course,” said Bess.

“He converted his front lawn into a croquet yard, and he had 3 different lawn mowers to give the ultimate experience,” said Neimeyer, who says that Bess’s competitive spirit didn’t have limits.

“He gave no quarter to anyone playing sports, related or not, not even his grandkids.”

Neimeyer said that Bess took great fun in crushing the spirits of his grandkids, who were constantly trying to eat him at croquet.

“He took so much pleasure out of it. One of the last times he played his granddaughter, about 2 years ago, she and her friends gave him a run for his money, but he was ultimately victorious, barely winning. He was so excited to say ‘I win!’ to the 26 and 27 year-old girls who were also athletic,” recounted Neimeyer.

Family was very important to Bess, who had 5 children, some a result of a blended family, 11 grandchildren, and 12 great-grandchildren, not to mention many nieces and nephews.

Bess’s family welcomed several foster children and foreign exchange students into their home, reflecting the value they placed upon Christian hospitality.

“He was so proud of his grandkids that he had sweatshirts from each college they attended. His whole wardrobe, that’s all he wore,” said daughter Jill Neimeyer. She says at some point she plans to create a quilt.

Towards the end of his life, he lost his wife Darlene, who he shared 43 years with before she passed away, caring for her as she battled Parkinson’s Disease. The two loved and adored each other deeply.

Bess’s love and support of Palmer was given back when, a day before his late wife’s service, Bess fell and broke his hip. He was taken to the ER, where later it was discovered Bess had a heart issue.

“He told the staff that he wanted to attend his wife’s service, even with his broken hip. The staff figured out a way, involving turning over his care to a hospice, and was able to transport him to the service, where he was able to participate, then later he returned to the hospital. I can’t see that happening in any other hospital, any other community, and that speaks the community of Palmer,” said Neimeyer, who thanked everyone involved for allowing Bess to say goodbye to his wife.

Bess passed away 6 weeks after his wife.

“He was a generous, spiritual, loving man, and when I watched him speaking from the pulpit, and got to witness his aspirational integrity. It had the strongest impact on me. He really made an effort to walk the talk,” said Phil Bess.

A memorial service will be held on Saturday May 27 at 3pm at the Palmer, AK Depot. In lieu of flowers his children invite contributions in his memory to the Church of the Covenant in Palmer, Alaska, the Palmer Arts Council, or the local churches, charities, or community arts organizations of your choice.