I might puke?

I met the personal trainer, Krista, this morning for my usual Wednesday appointment. The first thing Krista did was tell me where the garbage cans were in case I had to puke.

I thought, “crap, this can’t be good.”

The first day Amber and I met Krista, the personal training and fitness coordinator at the AT&T Sports Center, she said people describe her as, “Jillian with wings.” Jillian is a reference to super trainer Jillian Michaels of Biggest Loser fame.

Michaels is the leader of the overzealous bunch of trainers, who sound and act like Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, the drill sergeant who antagonizes the private they call Gomer Pyle in the classic war flick “Full Metal Jacket.”

Krista, on the other hand, has a bit more subtle approach when it comes to training. She has a very nice way of saying, “hey, I may make you hoark today.”

Anyway, after my warm-up laps, she started me with five “laps” of stairs. Thankfully, the AT&T Sports Center is only two stories. One lap equaled one trip down and back up the stairs. I did that five times, and actually felt pretty good.

Then it was time for a lap worth of a high-knee exercise around the track. The exercise is just as it states, you lift you knee up high and walk you way around the track. It’s sort of strange, because I found myself wanting to go faster than my muscles would allow me.

After that, it was five more “laps” on the stairs.

The second set of stairs hurt a bit more than the first, but didn’t feel too bad overall.

Then it was time for some “butt kicks.” At that point, I was starting to get high school football flashbacks. High knees and butt kicks were too of the warm-ups we did before every practice.

It’s almost like one of my old coaches was right there, yelling, “faster Bartz.”

Krista’s butt kicks are a bit different though. In football, it was only about 15 or 20 yards, and the butt kicks were basically an exaggerated running motion.

Krista’s butt kicks last a lap, at least at this point. I think with a bit more flexibility, I’d be able to kick my own butt. But now, you basically throw your leg backward and try to stretch the muscles in that region.

Once again, I wanted to go faster around the track than my muscles would actually allow.

After I tried to kick my own butt for a lap, Krista kicked my butt by sending me for five more “laps” on the stairs.

This was my third set, and the legs were starting to burn a little.

No puke yet though.

After that it was time for lunges and squats.

I started in a standing position, did four squats, then four lunges down the track and continued to rotate.

Ah, feel the burn.

Balance is surprisingly tricky when you’re doing lunges down a track. For those who have not been introduced to lunges, you take one step forward and bend the knees so you have about 90 degree angles in both legs.

And standing squats, you just sit into a squat while in a standing position. This is stuff you can do at home too. Initially it doesn’t seem like you’re doing a ton, but you actually are.

I was certainly feeling it in my legs by the time I was done with this part of the exercise. But I wasn’t done.

Then it was time for another set of laps on the steps.

It’s a good thing this was my final set. I felt myself swinging my arms more trying to propel my tired legs up the stairs. I did make it through the five laps.

The session ended with two more ways to burn the ole muscles. Krista had me do three “wall squats,” holding in a squat position as long as I could.

Again, this exercise is fairly self-explanatory. Just squat with your back against the wall. This is something else anyone can do at home.

My goal was 20 seconds for each squat. Trust me, it’s harder than it sounds, especially after all of the other exercises.

Finally, it was time for something she calls “planks.” This is just holding in a push-up position for as long as I can.

Again, 20 seconds seemed like a reasonable goal at this point. And I hit that goal.

But more important, I made it through the whole thing without needing to find one of those garbage cans.

Remember, it’s all about little victories.

Continued luck to all,

JB