IRL (in real life)

I love languages. I find the nuances of how humans communicate with one another so fascinating, but I especially love looking at the intricacies of online communication. Emojis, specific orders of punctuation, and brief abbreviations such as BRB (be right back), LOL (laugh out loud), and SMH (shaking my head), carry as much or more meaning as a fully written sentence. However, one acronym you may not be familiar with is IRL, or “in real life.” Often used on social media sites, IRL describes events, people, and interactions that occur offline. In the digital world, we are often surrounded by perfect-looking families wearing nice clothes and living in grand, beautiful homes. It can seem like everybody effortlessly has their life together in the most aesthetically pleasing and spotlessly perfect way.

My experience is that reality in the physical world (IRL) couldn’t be farther from this perfect picture that is presented to us. Homes get messy, families inevitably bicker and fight, and nice clothes are worn only sometimes; otherwise, they get ruined. We tend only to see what is placed right before us. We do not see the immense daily efforts that go into creating what looks like a perfectly put-together world. What happens online does not always tell the truth of what’s going on IRL.

My mom frequently tells us, “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” The truth is that IRL, we do not know what is going on in anyone’s life but our own. Maybe the driver who cut you off just paid for a family’s groceries when they couldn’t buy their own. Maybe the teenager who messed up your order at McDonald’s spends her weekends volunteering at a retirement home. Maybe the Instagram influencer with the seemingly flawless life stresses about taking care of her ill parents. We do not see the tiny acts of services performed or hear the kind words spoken, or know the efforts those around us are putting in to make the world a little brighter.

2 Corinthians 4:18 says, “We look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.” We tend to make snap judgments about what we can seemingly see clearly in front of us, but those quick assessments are often based on transient values. It is the tiny efforts that go unseen by most of the world that build character, bring us closer to Christ, and are of eternal worth.

I recently stumbled upon an Instagram page where people like me, incoming freshmen who are going to the same college as me in the fall, post introductions so we can start to get to know one another. At first, I was so excited to see my future classmates, but that excitement quickly turned to dread. In my mind, it seemed like most of the girls who would be my peers were extremely similar. They were beautiful blonde-haired, blue-eyed, tanned, extroverted, Taylor Swift-loving, late night-drivin’ girls who were always down to party. And I began to despair, thinking that I would never find my place when it seemed like there was already an archetype of girls at this school, and I did not fit it. I started to lose my desire to go to college until I connected with one of those very girls. It turns out that she is a goofball. She is a swimmer like me. She is kind and happy and an example of Christ, and we have actually started to become really close.

Satan would have us put our focus on our differences and the things in life that are meaningless in the grand scheme of things. If I had listened to his subtle whisperings and allowed insecurity and doubt to bloom in my heart, I would have closed myself off to the opportunity of meeting a really cool friend! The aspects of her that had seemed so obvious to me did not tell the full truth. My new friend IRL is nothing like the image I had constructed in my head.

I urge you to be a little kinder. Treat others with a little more grace. Do not heed Satan’s attempts to plant seeds of strife and doubt. Do not base your perceptions of others upon brief encounters or transient values, and that includes yourself. Our efforts do not go unseen by God. Living IRL is not easy or perfect. Life is messy, and we make mistakes, but God sees through the chaos and into our hearts. He knows our intentions and loves each one of us through the messes because He is simply proud of the little efforts we make each day. To Him, the Greatest Being in the universe, our worth is based not on the values held by the world but on the eternal truth that we are His children, and IRL, that’s the only thing that matters.

Always one with a flair for the dramatic, Avery Palenske is facing her last two months of high school and hoping she’ll go out with a bang. Faced with lots of change and many big milestones (such as attending senior prom, figuring out taxes, finding the perfect aesthetic for her future dorm room, partying hard post-graduation, and casting her first vote as a citizen of the nation), she is grateful for the continual stability that being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints brings.