It's all about the money, honey

Resslin' Around, by Casey Ressler

Only three more days to hysteria and pandemonium return to Alaska. That's right -- permanent fund dividend checks hit bank accounts across Alaska this Wednesday. I'm rich again.

As a kid, I always looked forward to October. Each year, I got $100 of my dividend to spend however I wanted.

One year I bought a 13-inch television for my room. Another year I took that hundred bucks and bought baseball cards -- a move some people would think is frivolous, but looking back on it, $100 for Nolan Ryan, Johnny Bench and Cal Ripken Jr. rookie cards looks pretty sweet years later.

But now, I've made the transition from boy to husband to father, meaning that instead of getting $100 to spend, I now get $50 to spend. This year, I may get really crazy and put a down payment on a Snickers bar -- king size, just because I can -- or maybe even upgrade to a 20-ounce Mt. Dew.

Dividend Day is one of the best days of the year. Only on that day can you find people scurrying out of Wal-Mart with a big screen television under one arm and a DVD player under the other.

They'll be elbowing the guy buying a new home stereo system, who also has two kids' bikes in tow. Down at the car dealership, down payments are no problem. In Anchorage, Costco has new computers flying off the shelves. You just can't beat the first week of October.

Forget about the Christmas season. Retailers love October in Alaska. The leaves are falling, the crispness in the air, the smell of fall … all of those romantic notions of the changing of seasons are quickly forgotten -- this is all about the cash, baby. And lots of it, too.

Perhaps even better than the day when the money actually hits the bank accounts and people start booking their trips to Hawaii and Disneyland is the three months or so that lead up to that day.

"What are we going to do with our dividends this year?" I always ask my wife around the middle of June, with visions of big-ticket items dancing in my head.

"I think we could use a new bed, and then we should finally pay off that final credit card," she said this June. "That'll be great to finally have it paid off."

Yeah, okay. A new bed? Credit card debt? Are you kidding me? On the list of boring things to do with dividend checks, those two are right there at the top of the list.

"This is free money honey," I told her. "Let's go crazy with it. Let's get really wild, and we'll put them together and buy a boat?" And funny, it's like she never even heard me. "How about Vegas?" I asked.

And again, a blank look on her face. Shocking.

In my mind, you use that "free" money to do something fun and exciting, something you wouldn't be able to do without getting it -- boats, TVs, vacations and the like.

For things like credit card debt and a new mattress, you eat Top Ramen for eight weeks until you've saved enough money to pay for them.

Unfortunately, my wife is fiscally responsible, and you can bet I'll be enjoying my new mattress in about two weeks. But at least I'll be debt free for the first time since I bought those baseball cards as young boy.

Casey Ressler (valleylife@frontiersman.com) is the Valley Life editor. He's got his eyes on a pontoon boat this dividend season -- with his wife's blessing, of course.