‘It’s not just the law — it’s the right thing to do’

Roman Kalytiak has had a ringside seat to see the misery caused by domestic violence.

“It is a lot broader than a man hitting a woman,” he said. “It takes on a lot of different forms.”

A man kills his father and seriously injures his father’s fiancée with a machete after a family get-together. A son stabs his mother to death after they eat dinner. A mother sets fire to her house and kills one of her sons, who cannot escape the smoke and flames because she drugged him. A man shakes his infant to death. A husband shoots his wife in the back with a shotgun, paralyzing her.

These are but a few of the domestic violence cases Kalytiak has handled in his 25 years as a prosecutor. He came to Alaska from Michigan in 1997 and has been the Palmer District Attorney since January 1999.

He said he knows prosecution is not a cure for domestic violence, but that it is a necessary component.

The state devotes a lot of resources to prosecuting domestic violence cases: it pays for prosecutors, judges and defense attorneys to conduct trials and sentencing hearings, and then it pays for incarceration and probation, if defendants are found guilty.

But it’s not an effective way to fight domestic violence, Kalytiak said, because ultimately i t’s up to the individuals to change their behaviors. Some experts say violence is a pattern of behavior learned by children between the ages of birth and 10. Children who grow up with violence also develop differently emotionally, socially and cognitively.

Sadly, researchers also say children who experienced abuse and neglect are more likely to grow up to perpetrate domestic violence and sexual abuse in adulthood.

As a father and a longtime community member, Kalytiak said it was natural for him to speak out and urge others to Choose Respect.

Gov. Sean Parnell started the statewide Choose Respect campaign, and he’s made it a priority for his Attorney General and District Attorneys like Kalytiak who work for him statewide.

“We have an interest in curtailing domestic violence,” Kalytiak said. “No matter how you slice it, it benefits us and the community to be involved in prevention.”

Encouraging his peers to think about what they can do to reduce violence is one way to build on the existing foundation of Valley men who Choose Respect every day, Kalytiak said.

“Time for all of us to think about this and what each of us can do about it,” he said.

Merely choosing respect is no panacea, Kalytiak cautioned.

“There will always be good times and tough times,” he said. “It’s a matter of trying. You may stumble, but keep trying.”