It’s not the same old song and dance

I learned from an exhaustive research effort (well, really, I checked Wikipedia) that the tradition of homecoming activities stretches back to 1911, when the University of Missouri staged a large parade and festival for its alumni, hoping to increase attendance at a football game.

Before everyone who went someplace other than the University of Missouri pipes in with the reasons his or her school should be recognized as the originator of homecoming traditions, let me point out that Wikipedia gives the credit to Missouri based on the fact that the NCAA, Trivial Pursuit and Jeopardy! all agree on this point. Who am I to argue with the Jeopardy! judges?

Dissent on its place of origin aside, homecoming is an ancient and noble tradition at high schools across the country. Its purpose is to increase demonstrations of school spirit and bring schools, their alumni and their communities together. I’m not sure to what extent our hard-hat and tool-belt-wearing students and staff were bonding this morning, our designated Construction Gear Spirit Day, but we certainly were united in our efforts to look as silly as humanly possible to demonstrate our school spirit.

Wikipedia goes on to point out the features of homecoming weeks at high schools, including spirit days, parades, pep rallies, attendance at the big football game, the homecoming court and, of course, the culminating event, the homecoming dance.

At Colony High School our dance on Saturday night will be semiformal and, as I have written before, I usually attend not only the homecoming dance, but also most dances at our school as a chaperone. I have to confess, however, that this weekend I will not be chaperoning owing to several changes in the district dance policy that confuse me.

I wrote an article two years ago for this space about some of the trends in student dancing that disturb me, chief among them the stacking of multiple students (between three and five) hip-to-hip in very tight groups on the floor. As open-minded as I try to be as an adult, there is just something disturbing about witnessing that kind of close contact between students at a public event.

In order to prevent those situations, the Mat-Su Borough School District has included a statement in its dance policy that reads, “Lewd dancing such as ‘freaking’ will result in [a] student and/or couple being asked to leave the floor for a 10-minute break and after a second infraction being asked to leave the event.” While I support the intent of this passage and appreciate the district’s efforts to improve student behavior, I have no idea about the logistics of enforcing such a rule.

I envision a type of hockey penalty box where the offending student(s) would be sequestered while a clock counted down the minutes. As the time ran out an automatic lock would spring open and the student(s) would be free to return to the floor. Another teacher and I considered constructing two large cardboard boxes, one pink and one blue, so that boys and girls could have separate facilities. We might also provide each chaperone with several stopwatches in order to track the penalized students.

I have asked several teachers about how they might enforce this new policy, and they all admit to being mystified. I am sure that in practice, chaperones will stand on the perimeter of the dance floor where the objectionable behavior does not occur. This method, however, strikes me as avoiding the issue.

I don’t like the idea of nominally fulfilling my obligation by showing up but not doing anything. I have known teachers to wade into the fray with squirt bottles, designed literally to dampen the spirits of the dancers, but I can’t quite bring myself to do that either. Thus, I am left with the choice of just not going to dances, which is the decision I have come to, but is not one I find satisfactory. .

Certainly I am not the first adult to be puzzled or even disturbed by adolescent dancing. When I ask my students about it, several tell me they are desensitized to the physical proximity of others (although I can’t quite get my head around that), and others just shrug and say, “it’s no big deal.” Again, I have trouble with that. We’re not just talking about Elvis-like hip gyrations here, students are literally grinding the entire lower halves of their bodies together in groups of three, four and five. It is also true that not all students participate, although the number is higher than what one might expect.

In all cases, when I am confused or disturbed by the behavior of my students I find the best approach is to ask them about it. Their answers may not assuage my distress, but at least we are having a conversation that allows us to focus on the ways we are similar rather than those in which we differ.

As Wikipedia points out, homecoming dances have been around for nearly a hundred years, and it’s probably true that chaperones have been concerned about dancing for at least that long. My 15 years of teaching has allowed me to learn at least one thing — teenagers will always be teenagers, and no matter how concerned we adults are about their behavior, they will go on to achieve adulthood as productive members of society, regardless of their methods of dancing.

I wonder about what this year’s first graders will be doing 10 years from now when they attend dances as high school sophomores and juniors. Perhaps by then, at the advanced age of 50, I will be too old to worry about it.

Prudence Plunkett teaches in the English department at Colony High School.