J.J. Fair Blog: Day Three - Fairmagedon

August 25, 2007

11:30 p.m.

Weather: Sunny all around. Hotter than fresh biscuits.

Parking spot: Back in the Purple lot. Long wait. Confused attendants scattered.

Admission lines: Quicker than it looked like.

Trail pace: Slowboat. More of a waddle.

I knew getting out of bed this morning that today was going to be a doozey.

My friend Jen was ready for the challenge of taking on the State Fair on a sunny Saturday. I wasn't so sure. Bed felt good and the peace and quiet was sobering. Why leave the house? Oh yeah, the Palmer fair, right.

Water bottle, check.

Wallet, check.

Keys, where did I put those?

Getting to the fair at 11 a.m. wasn't as bad as expected. Parking started off sporadically, leading me to believe there was confusion amongst the attendants as to who was controlling what. The lots were filling fast, but people seemed to have left pockets open for the next guy to steal.

That was me.

Once inside the gates I notice a new kind of fervor. Like waiting for the bulls to be released in Spain for the famous and dangerous bull run.

Booth owners are locked and loaded.

First things first, I need liquids.

My friend Jen proclaims cola is not very &#8220unique” so we go for an energy drink instead. $3 is the cheapest we could find.

Next, we waddle through the Purple trail with annoying snail like precision. A few dads in front of me are yelping for people ahead of them to hurry along. I think to myself, did I notice how slow people were when I was here as a kid? Most likely the answer is ‘no.'

I want food, but just ate, but we still check out the smells of the fairgrounds once more. This time I notice the kettle corn and turkey legs more than anything, but catch a whiff of the corn-on-the-cob, cotton candy and coffee beans whirring around at the Kaladi Brothers booth.

I like that Kaladi plays techno-trance full blast at their booth. I'm thinking the poor older couple sitting down, nibbling on their ice-cream on the bench right next to Kaladi, does not share this sentiment. They look confused and tired. But before I can say ‘Aawww' in my head, I'm nudged out of the way by two skater kids with purple hair.

On this third day hookin' the streets of the fair, I got my first taste of pushiness.

Pushy vendors trying to guess my age and weight, pushy religious groups, pushy activists, but most of all pushy pedestrians!

What gives, people! I paid my $10 like the next guy, why not tae my sweet time shopping the sites?

I decided to stick to checking out new stuff: Fe Fi Farm Fun, cheerleaders in the air, airbrushers and hair dressers.

I wanted to stay longer, for Charlie Daniels was coming up, but decided coming home would be an event all of it's own. And it was.

No rides today, I decided. That is something I will not get pushed into. Well, maybe tomorrow.