Learning from stories

I have only one parenting life hack, and it has taken me three kids to figure out. It’s this: tell stories.

Right now, I can fix any problem my daughter Mercedes has with an Elsa story. Elsa stories are essentially exact re-tellings of life circumstances, except that “Mercedes” is replaced with “Elsa” (because she’s four, so everything must be Frozen-related.) “Anna” stands in for any of her three siblings, and we have ended up with dozens of stories like “When Elsa Didn’t Want to Stay in Her Carseat,” and “When Elsa Didn’t Want to Share Her Favorite Bowl.”

The magic of story-telling is that even a young mind can understand and learn from the consequences of the character in the story, rather than having to learn from experience. When Elsa gets angry and throws her favorite toy, which breaks, Mercedes learns not to have that response.

I love telling these stories to Mercedes and watching her process the cause and effect. She loves them too, and will often ask me to tell specific favorites over and over again, or pause during a tantrum to ask, “Is there an Elsa story about when Elsa couldn’t find her unicorn stuffy?” (Yes! There is!)

Of course, kids aren’t the only ones who learn through stories. In my own life I’ve learned great lessons from many fiction and non-fiction characters. George R.R. Martin said, “A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies…The man who never reads lives only one.”

Upon reflection, I realized Heavenly Father uses stories with us the same way I do with my daughter. Our scriptures are gifts from the Lord specifically for our learning. He wants the best for us, and he doesn’t want us to have to go down every wrong path to find it! Romans 15:4 reads, “For whatsoever things were written aforetime were written for our learning, that we through patience and comfort of the scriptures might have hope.” A Book of Mormon prophet, Nephi, explained, “I did liken all scriptures unto us, that it might be for our profit and learning” (1 Nephi 19:23).

True, the life circumstances of our scriptural heroes are not exact replicas of our own. There may not be a story about “When Esther Chose Not to Yell at Her Husband for Leaving His Shoes in the Middle of the Floor AGAIN.” But there is a story of “When Esther Chose to Treat Her Husband with Respect and Kindness Even When He Least Deserved It,” and that inspired choice saved her life.

In addition to stories of exemplary behavior, God has given us many examples of what not to do. We do not need to learn that adultery will ruin us—we can read about King David. We do not play favorites and turn our children against one another—we already know how that turns out from reading the story of Joseph of Egypt.

The wonderful thing about the scriptures is that however you view them—either as literal history or as a collection of more metaphorical stories—there is light and truth and wisdom to be gained from them.

The Savior knew the power of teaching from stories, as he employed it himself by telling parables. And unlike my basic Elsa stories, these parables are packed with hidden meaning and can be interpreted in many different ways.

One way to liken scriptures is to reverse-Elsa, and replace “you” or the name of a character with your own name. This can help us to remember that God is, in fact, addressing us through the scriptures. It is so comforting for me, especially during these discordant times, to read 2 Timothy 1:7 as “For God has not given Rachel a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of sound mind.”

When we are facing difficult decisions, trying life circumstances or even the perils of pride during a time of plenty, we have been provided with the answers. All we need to do is ask the Lord, “Is there a scripture story about…?” And I feel confident, if we search the scriptures diligently, we’ll find that, yes! There is.

Rachel Kenley Fry is a third generation Alaskan who is thrilled to be back living in her homeland. She is a writer, mother of four, lover of the outdoors, and a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.