Learning to speak through emotion

No matter if the event is a wedding or a wake, a graduation or a goodbye, a birthday or a baptism, our emotions often get the best of us at a time when we truly want to say something heartfelt and meaningful. If you’re like me, meaningful events cause emotions to well up and your throat tightens to the point where it’s difficult to speak, let alone say what you truly want to say.

My mother was diagnosed a few years ago with a progressive disease that would eventually cause her death. Mom was well known and very well respected for her lifetime of community service and volunteerism. Everyone loved her big bear hugs. As I contemplated the time I had remaining with her, I wanted to celebrate her life and to pay tribute to her while she lived. Her 80th birthday was two years away. I began to plan a big party to celebrate her life. The guest list had more than 100 people on it, and the list was growing. As the party plans solidified my confidence waned. I seriously doubted my ability to emcee the party because I knew from past experience that I would not be able to speak through my emotions.

Instead of cancelling the party or asking someone else to emcee, I joined Toastmasters. A friend who belonged to Toastmasters told me the program would help me learn to speak through emotion. I’m pleased to say that because of the Toastmasters program and a wonderful group of fellow Toastmasters, I have learned to speak through emotion.

The actual toast went somewhat as planned, but then again, not. About 100 of us were gathered together in an event hall, with a slide show of hundreds of photos covering my mother’s life playing on one wall, catered food, a guest book, good background music and lots of hugs and tears. Our tears were of sadness, because the gathering wasn’t her 80th birthday party as intended, but her memorial service. My mother died a few months prior to her 80th birthday. All those people that were on the party guest list were sitting there in front of me, hoping to be lead into a time of sharing, laughter and memories. We were all feeling the sadness, grief and deep loss of our dear friend, mentor, relative, sister, aunt, mother, grandmother. Thanks to Toastmasters, I was able to speak with a strong voice, even though there were tears in my eyes. We were able to laugh with each other about my mother’s great sense of humor, to enjoy each other’s memories and stories while remembering my mother’s positive impact on our lives.

Do you fear an upcoming event where your emotion might lead you into the room? Toastmasters can help. The Toastmasters program is 90 years strong with a proven track record of well over 2 million members in 122 countries throughout the world. The Toastmasters program is focused on helping each other learn to become better communicators. Every person who joined a Toastmasters club joined for a specific reason. For me, it was learning to speak through emotion. The outcome is so much more than what we hoped to accomplish, because Toastmasters helps us develop and polish all the components of good communication: listening, thinking, and speaking.

Palmer Toastmasters meets every week on Tuesday evenings at the MTA Building, lower level in Palmer. Our meetings begin at 6 p.m. and end at 7 p.m. Call 907-539-7111 or check out the club website at palmer.toastmastersclubs.org, or Toastmasters International at toastmasters.org. Better yet, come as a guest to a meeting. Our meetings are free and open to the public.

Vicki Kluever is a life-long Alaskan, born and raised on Kodiak Island as five generations of mothers before her. She has lived in Palmer for the past 23 years. She is a member of the Palmer Toastmasters Club and the Anchorage Advanced Toastmasters Club.