Leaving behind a legacy that lasts

The big, bold headlines of the Sports Illustrated cover screamed, “Mickey Mantle: The Legacy Of The Last Great Player On The Last Great Team.” Indeed, “The Mick” left an enormous legacy to the game of baseball. He was Mr. Baseball to an entire generation. The Bronx Bomber. The Tape Measure Kid. But Mickey Mantle was now dead. More than 2,000 people gathered on Aug. 15, 1995 to mourn the loss of unarguably the most popular and adored athlete of our time.

Millions of young people grew up wearing Mickey’s No. 7 on their Little League jerseys, dreaming of one day becoming like their hero. But unknown to his admiring fans, this superstar was driven to a life of alcoholism and regrets. On the field, he was America’s MVP. But off the field, he was crude and obscene through the influence of his bar hopping teammates. He became a wayward husband and distant father. He often ignored his wife and four sons. Under his influence, two of his sons became alcoholics. A third son died at 36 of an addiction to pain-killing drugs. Idolized by millions, The Mick struck out at home. In the end, Mantle sought to change his life and did. But by then it was too late to undo the years of destructive influence upon his family.

There is no higher calling than fathering. In all the New Testament, only one verse, Ephesians 6:4, along with its companion verse, Colossians 3:21, speaks exclusively to dads and instructs in the basics of fatherhood. The entire verse reads, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). Ephesians 6:4 provides seven observations concerning effective fathering.

First, fathering requires balance. In this verse there is both a negative command (“do not provoke them to anger”) and a positive command (“bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord”). To be an effective father there must be balance. This provides the balance and moderation needed for successful fathering.

Second, fathering is to be strongly positive. Our fathering must definitely tilt toward the positive. In this verse, there is only one negative command — “do not provoke them to anger” — but three positive requirements — bring them up, discipline them and instruct them. Our fathering should always be strongly weighted to the positive, at least 3 to 1.

Third, fathering requires tender loving care. “Bring them up” is from the Greek word ekrephete. It is a word that means to nourish, to feed or to care. It is the same word translated “nourishes” (Ephesians 5:29) and describes how we should care for our own body. No one needs to persuade us to take care of our own personal needs. We do so with care, gentleness and liberty. That is precisely how we are to love our own children. We are to nourish them with a tender loving care that surrounds them with love.

Fourth, fathering is an ongoing process. “Bring them up” is in the present tense. It is a continual process. It occurs over many years. As long as they are under our roof we are to be involved in raising them up. In many ways, children need our care and direction even more from age 18 to 25. One person said, “When children are young, they step on your feet. When they are older they step on your heart.”

Fifth, fathering is nonnegotiable. “Bring them up” is in the imperative mood meaning it is a command. This verse is not simply advice or a suggestion. It is binding. It is a command. This is God’s nonnegotiable command requiring our obedience.

Sixth, fathering is every dad’s responsibility. “Bring them up” is in the middle voice, meaning this is our personal responsibility. No one else can bring them up for us. The responsibility of fathering cannot be delegated to the school, the church or the day care center. It cannot even be turned solely over to mom to do. Raising kids is every dad’s responsibility. It is your responsibility.

Seventh, fathering involves developing the whole child. “Bring them up” has no qualifiers except “with discipline and instruction.” In Luke 2:52 Jesus grew in four areas. The verse reads that Jesus “kept increasing in wisdom and stature and in favor with God and man.” “Wisdom” refers to his mental development. “Stature” means His physical growth. “God” represents His spiritual development. “Man” focuses upon His social development. Fathering is complex because children must grow in all four areas. You must nurture the personal growth of your children.

For Mickey Mantle, his place in history as a baseball player is secure forever. His legacy as a father is forever lost. Thankfully, there is a better way. Who is the ultimate father? Of course, it is God the Father. He loved us enough to send His Son Jesus to die for us. He died as our substitute. Jesus paid for our sins. Turn to Him today in repentance and faith.

Ethan Hansen (ethanchansen-@gci.net) is pastor of Faith Bible Fellowship in Big Lake.