LETTER: A victim’s note

To the editor:

Domestic violence is an all-too-regular subject in our modern world. It doesn't mean that it's a new occurrence. You may see it in the news, possibly encounter a victim in your everyday life.

The typical reaction is pity, followed by the question: "Well, why isn't that person just smart enough to leave?"

Domestic violence isn't something that is a matter of IQ, social standing, religion, or race. There is no checklist to unite one victim to another. It is not a choice. Being in a situation you can not control is terrifying, and all to often victims feel trapped, alone and ashamed. Victims are all to often judged in society as weak, unfit parents, self destructive, among many other things. They may find it hard to keep work due to their aggressor or unable to maintain healthy relationships. DV does not define a person. It takes courage to stand up to their offender and leave a volatile situation. Many victims admit to feeling ashamed of the situation they are in. Many victims never seen the situation coming. Many may be swayed to stay by marriage, children, finances,love, or the mental control their abusers have over them. No one should have to live in constant fear from physical or emotional pain.No one should be made to feel ashamed for asking for help,or fear repercussions of negativity from the ones they love. If you know a victim of DV, speak out, do not let them suffer in silence.You, yourself could be the one venue of support that could potentially save someone's life.If you are a victim still suffering , you are enough, you are loved , you are unique, and there is hope. Love does not hurt , love heals. There are people who care about you and your safety. Reach out if you can, to a friend or loved one. You are in control of your life and your safety. The first and one of the hardest steps is talking to someone about your particular situation. We are all in different situations. There is help for you, you do not have to suffer alone. We as community can make life altering differences in other people's lives. It starts with speaking out, everyone deserves the chance to be helped. We all have the capability to change someone's life forever. It starts with you.

— Kristen Mayo

Wasilla