Look domestic violence in the eye

We heard a story this week about a couple of local dads who met under unusual circumstances and parted ways better off for their meeting.

It started in The Home Depot parking lot. We know a lot of local folks witnessed these events — sources say they just kept walking when they saw an older male and 20-something female involved in a somewhat violent altercation there a few days ago.

Here’s the story. Two dads and their daughters were at the building supply store that day for very different reasons. No. 1 dad was there with his daughter to pick up a furnace filter. No. 2 dad was there with his adult daughter and a lot of her personal belongings.

No. 1 dad didn’t know why the two were fighting or even that they were father and daughter. He just saw a young woman in a violent altercation with a bigger, stronger man and he took action.

We share this story now because it is Domestic Violence Awareness Month and because too many people in our community walked by this scene last week and turned blind eyes to the young woman’s safety.

But one man and his daughter did more. While his 10-year-old daughter waited in the car, No. 1 dad jumped between the second father and daughter and interrupted their altercation.

He told the young woman to go to his car and that he would help her. But this man went farther. He also told her father he was wrong, that no matter what, this was his daughter and there was nothing that she could have done that would warrant a violent response from him, her father.

Sometimes the best course of action is just to walk away from a conflict and let everyone involved cool off for 24 hours. That’s what happened here.

After friends in Anchorage said the young woman could crash with them for a bit, No. 1 father took her to the bus stop. But before the bus could pull away, No. 2 father returned.

The young woman stayed on the bus while the two fathers talked in the parking lot.

“Thank you,” No. 2 father said to No. 1 father, extending his hand. “Thank you for stepping in. You were absolutely right. She’s my daughter.”

The two fathers shook hands and went their separate ways, likely changed forever by this chance meeting.

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. For too long Alaska and the Mat-Su Valley have been overly represented in national statistics for domestic violence.

Here are a few things each of us can do to change this:

• Call 911 when you see or hear domestic violence.

• Recognize when you as an individual need a cool-down period.

• Remember that domestic violence is everyone’s business. If you see or hear it happening, don’t tune it out.

We’ve written about this topic before here, but nothing we can say makes as strong a statement as when Mat-Su Valley men and women stand up, speak out and hold their peers accountable for violent actions.