Looking for light

In early April, I was coming in from the 5 a.m. milking when my husband asked, “Did you see the light?” I frowned. The light in the barn? The porch light? Northern Lights? He clarified: “the light in the sky.” “No,” I admitted. “I wasn’t looking.”

Two days later he stopped me as I came in carrying the milk. He put it down for me and motioned me back outside. There, on the horizon, were the early but distinct fingers of dawn. I hadn’t even noticed.

How often do I miss the light that is right in front of me? My husband, an amateur astronomer, often points out tiny dots of light, naming them with delight, and pointing out their brightness. When he taught astronomy, he would shake his head about some of his students. “They don’t even know what the constellations look like!” They had never identified one.

I love light. Maybe that’s why I love Alaska, because I enjoy so much of it this time of year. During seasons with less daylight, it becomes a treasured commodity. I love seeing Christmas lights midwinter, and, of course, the Northern Lights.

I love seeing light in Alaskan faces. My neighbor greets me with a bright face and kind comments. The children in my neighborhood light up the cul-de-sac as they ride their bikes joyfully in the sunshine. A clerk at the hardware store takes time to greet me and answer my question—not just because he wants to do his job, but because he has a friendly light in his eyes.

“I am the light of the world,” Christ said, “He that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life.” (John 8: 12 KJV.) The lights in the sky — the light in faces--they ultimately emanate from Him. The Psalmist reminds us, “In thy light shall we see light.” (Psalms 36:9 KJV) We are drawn to light, like a moth to a flame.

As I turn toward Christ, I long to be purified by His radiance. The examples of others are helpful. My father has made a point of looking for light—he chose, many years ago, to always be positive in his conversations. He makes a special effort to look for the good in his world. He gathers light, and then scatters it abroad. One of my friends told me about a boss that she particularly admired. “He is very good at finding the silver lining in any cloud.” Conversations with him left her grateful and uplifted. Another friend has cultivated a skill of patient listening. A rare and special gift to all who know her.

Light unobserved, though, is the same as shadow. I missed the dawn because I was looking down. The ignorant astronomy students looked at other things--feet, screens, friends--and missed the glories of the universe. Distraction, not design, is very effective at keeping me in the dark. If I want a life full of light, I must seek it out.

And then I need to act. The people in the examples above made conscious changes in their lives so they could see and share light. Acts 17:30 reminds us that God “commandeth all men everywhere to repent.” Peter taught, “But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.” (Peter 2:9 NIV) If I am seeking more light, it’s time for me to make better media choices, be of good cheer, and stop, stop, stop complaining. This is the season to make that overdue apology and practice patience. Time to turn from my murk and let in the brilliance He promises to those who keep His commandments.

Then something miraculous happens. As He helps me change 5 inches, for example, He gives me 20 inches of blessings. When I earnestly struggle with His help to make one pound of improvement, He endows me with ten times as many gifts. My sincere efforts to remove my blinders result in startling illumination. He has been waiting for me to turn to Him, and He comes, laden, to my aid.

Let there be light.

Kristin Fry has been a resident of the Mat-Su Valley for 22 years. She is enchanted, once again, by the Alaskan turn from colorless to green and blooming. Breathtaking. Kristin is a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.