Love Changes Everything

“Your mom hugged me when I expected a solid whack. That hug was far more memorable than all the harsh teaching methods used on me back then,” a childhood friend recently told me. He said “that one hug” changed him for the better.

How powerful is love? As I have studied the life and teachings of Jesus Christ, and experienced His love in my own life, I suggest that love is the greatest power there is.

What is love?

Sacrifice is a component of love. When watching some old family movies, I was surprised to see my mom and dad looking young and dapper, rested and stylish. They were at my maternal grandparents’ home the second Christmas of their marriage. My mom opened her gifts—a beautiful, expensive-looking sweater and a classy blouse. I don’t remember my mom ever receiving nice clothing as a gift, instead, she got a purse, or a wallet, or a crockpot. In my lifetime she had become the giver of gifts, not the receiver.

Fast forward 25 years to a film showing my visit when I was a young mother. I was so happy to be home and with all of my family. At this time my mom had three sons living at home, and my sister and her family lived nearby. My mom had been a stay-at-home mom from the time she was married, but in her fifties had gone back to work as a high school counselor. In the film, I could see that she looked a little bit tired—which I didn’t notice at the time. I remember that about my mother—her hard work every day for our family. I remember her when she was dressed up and going out, but I mostly remember her in her “work” clothes, baking, cooking, washing dishes, and working in the garden. The life of a mother is a life of sacrifice. Never mind if we become un-stylish. We are growing in love.

Our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ gave the ultimate sacrifice for us—the life, teachings, and Atoning Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. The Savior suffered “pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind” so that He can comfort us, heal us, and rescue us in times of need. His gift is ongoing, and His work for us continues. Sacrificing our time and effort for those we love is part of loving.

A soft answer is part of love. Once, when one of my siblings was having some problems, I let my mom know. Then, I heard nothing, saw nothing… it was as if nothing happened. But something did happen because my sibling changed. What happened? She gently took them aside, in private, and taught them. She preserved their dignity and made teaching the key element of the discipline. We were never “grounded,” only occasionally spanked. I can’t say that we were overly considerate kids, but we were good kids. My mom led us where she wanted us to go, with gentle persuasion and instruction.

Giving help is part of love. One time my mom told me, “Always help someone if you can.” My niece who lived near my mom talks about how she would drop by grandma’s house during her college studies to get help with her papers. My mom was always available and happy to help her. In exchange, my niece came over and helped my mom clean her house every week. My mom trusted her granddaughter and knew she could count on her.

When I would visit and accompany Mom to the grocery store, she often called her friend Helen Mitchell to ask what she needed. Helen had debilitating arthritis. We would drop by with groceries, visit, and my mom would do whatever Helen needed help with.

Reciprocated love is a wonderful blessing. But does love have to be reciprocated to be love? C.S. Lewis writes, “Love is never wasted, for its value does not rest on reciprocity.” That means that we can love fully, and our love is still powerful, even when we are not loved back. Nothing can diminish the love that we feel and show to others, and no outcome is required for love to be pure.

God’s love is pure, given freely with no dependency on the outcome of that love. Our ability to feel that love has a lot of factors. However, when we can feel God’s love, it changes everything.

Susan Porter is one of my favorite speakers. She is currently the General Primary President (a global ministry) for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. She teaches,

“When you know and understand how completely you are loved as a child of God, it changes everything. It changes the way you feel about yourself when you make mistakes. It changes how you feel when difficult things happen. It changes your view of God’s commandments. It changes your view of others and of your capacity to make a difference.”

Our Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ love us completely. Their entire focus is on us. “God has no distracting hobbies off somewhere in the universe. We are at the very center of His concerns and purposes,” taught Elder Neal A. Maxwell, former Apostle in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

God’s pure love is always there for every single one of us. It is there for us whether we feel it or not. Knowing His Love changes everything.

Beth Wright loves her family, loves God, and loves being a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.