Love First: Upcoming community event geared for families faced with addiction

WASILLA — Karen Malcolm lost her son, Dylan Fuhs, to opioid addiction last year.

Malcom founded the David Dylan Foundation to honor both her son and his father, David Fuhs, as well as every family who is going through the same thing.

“What I’m seeing now in Alaska, things are changing. We have that piece in place we just have to educate the public more to clear up stigmatism, recognizing this is a disease and we’re supporting our loved ones who are lost to the disease,” Malcolm said.

On Oct. 20 at 2 p.m., the David Dylan Foundation and three other recovery programs will host a free event with visiting intervention specialists, Jeff and Debra Jay to present, “Love First: Intervention and Structured Family Recovery” at the Curtis D. Menard Memorial Sports Center in Wasilla.

“We know addiction is about isolation, and recovery is about connection,” David Molletti, managing director at Your Personal Recovery, said.

The presentation, Love First, is designed to show families how to use compassion and their relationships to help their loved ones work through recoveries while reducing the probability of relapse. Malcolm said this event is one of many ways she and her contemporaries are utilizing to, “reach families who are suffering.”

The David Dylan Foundation is a faith-based organization dedicated to supporting families and individuals who’ve lost their loved ones due to their addictions with drugs or alcohol. After her son’s death in June 2017, Malcom said that she took some time to heal then pivoted toward action.

“I decided that his life shouldn’t been in vain,” Malcolm said.

Malcolm and her team’s core principals focus heavily on compassion and connectivity through a peer-to-peer support. “My son was boxer, he was a song writer. He was a brilliant guy and a radiant light,” Malcolm said. “It really breaks my heart, knowing about all the shame, rejection and loneliness he felt in the end… To think of all these young people and everyone suffering.”

Malcolm said that keeping the dialogue going, changing the way we think and changing the way we handle the many issues that come with drug and alcohol dependency is important.

Mark Weaver, vice president of Fallen Up Ministries, said that he understands what Malcolm’s son went through, and after several years clean and sober, he’s now helping other people, young and old, who are in that place right now. To Weaver, redemption, and ultimately serenity, comes from acceptance.

“I’m a person and I’ve made some mistakes, but they don’t define who I am today,” Weaver said. “To me, I err on the side of compassion.”

Weaver works throughout the community and even across the state to help people with their battles with addiction. He also speaks at community events and public dialogues. He noted that he was young when he first started abusing substances and he’s noticed an upward trend of that as well.

“It seems to be getting younger and younger,” Weaver said. “It seems like people are transferring to heroin quicker than they used to.”

Malcolm said that Dylan’s addiction kicked off in college, but the seeds were planted in high school. Dylan was in ATV accident and prescribed opioid-based medications for his pain.

“He was cut off without a taper… Nobody knew what was wrong with him. Everybody asked what’s wrong with you instead of what happened to you?” Malcom said.

Malcom said that after several pill-centered parties, Dylan grew dependent, and eventually the street-priced pills proved to be too expensive. So he did what many people do, and switched to heroin. Dylan’s cousin also got addicted to opiates, according to Malcolm.

“My nephew died within the year and Dylan died 7 years later,” she said. “It’s so prevalent, more prevalent than we realize.”

Molletti said the three Love First events are geared to show how the brain physically changes during addiction and shed light on the misconceptions so, “people know how addiction re-wires the brain.”

“It’s not a moral failing,” Molletti said.

Molletti said changes in language are good sign that more people are opening up to this compassion-first style philosophy, which also applies to using terms like, “people suffering from addiction” rather than “addicts.”

“It’s a powerful thought-changer, getting right down to the language,” Molletti said. “They’re people first.”

Weaver said people tend to form stereotypes quicker when using these terms, especially when people berate them, calling them things like “junky” or “druggie.” He said that it dehumanizes people like him and the people he works with.

Molletti said that, “addiction doesn’t discriminate” and it can happen to any demographic or economic scenario.

“I’m talking bankers, lawyers, real estate…” Molletti said.

The Menard Center is one of three venues for the Love First event. There are two scheduled events in Anchorage, Oct. 18 at 6 p.m. at Changepoint Church in Anchorage, and Oct. 22 at 7 p.m. the Wendy Williamson Auditorium.

Molletti said that he and Malcom are working on a “living document” that they can add and change over the years. It will be an up to date, categorized and diverse list of just about every resource for people looking to get sober and ways for the family to get help too. They will hand these community resource lists out to the audience at all three of the Love First events.

“We would like to invite anyone who thinks addiction is a choice,” Malcolm said.

Malcolm said that her son had a tattoo on his arm that read, “There is no saint without a past, no sinner without a future.”

To register for the event, visit realaboutaddiction.net/#events. For more information about the David Dylan Foundation and to register, visit DavidDylanFoundation.org.

Contact Mat-Su Valley Frontiersman reporter Jacob Mann at jacob.mann@frontiersman.com