Mastering the fine art of negotiation

All of us have to negotiate as part of our personal and professional lives. Whether we haggle over a price at a garage sale, ask for something different at work, or when we deal with the public and aim for an outcome in our favor. Negotiating is an art. It is practiced by virtually everyone in some form, but it is mastered by few.

Negotiation is a process by which two parties with different needs and goals work together to find a mutually acceptable solution to an issue. Since negotiation is an interpersonal process, each situation is different and influenced by each person's skill, attitude and style. Many people view negotiating as unpleasant since it tends to imply conflict, but it does not need to be confrontational. A better understanding of negotiation concepts will allow each person to enter into negotiations with confidence and increase the positive outcome for both parties.

There are many techniques for making negotiation work. Be conscious of the difference in positions and interests. Figure out not only why you want your particular outcome, but also why the other party wants their outcome. Shared interests can be the building blocks to lasting agreements. Remember to be fair. If people think that the process is fair, they will be more likely to commit to a neutral position. Be prepared to commit, and don't make a commitment unless it can be fulfilled. The biggest trick in successful negotiation is simple but difficult to do. Listen. If you spend all your listening time planning on how to 'get' the other guys, then you probably haven't heard what they had to say. Focus on the other party's concerns and any underlying meaning. If you demonstrate empathy for their position, they may be more likely to listen to yours.

Conflict arises when either party in a negotiation enters the meeting determined to 'win at all costs.' If only one party wins, there must be a loser and that can lead to problems down the road. Think of negotiation as a 'win-win' proposition. Emotional outbursts can also strain negotiations. Maintain control and don't personalize differences.

Before beginning a negotiation remember the Rule of 3. Before you enter into the bargaining arena have three figures or positions firmly in your mind:

The maximum -- the highest figure, the most you dare asking.

The minimum -- the bottom-line and lowest figure you will settle for.

The goal -- have in mind a realistic figure that you have a fair chance of getting. It is usually 50 to 75 percent of the maximum.

When negotiating, try for your goal but be prepared to accept anything between the minimum and the maximum.

Remember, you set the rules of the 'game.' Start the negotiation in control. One way to do this is to say something like, "Before we get started, I'd like to go over the situation as it stands, and outline what we plan to accomplish at this meeting." Then move forward and state things as you see them. From the beginning you are in control of the situation -- because you defined it first.

The best way to prepare for any negotiation, no matter how insignificant, is to do your homework. Gather all the facts, statistics, documents or other evidence that supports your position. Then take your time in the discussion and don't be hasty.

Above all, remember you are dealing with other people -- not machines. Learn as much as you can about your opponents and try to highlight, whenever possible, the common goals and points of agreement between you. You'll be astonished at the difference it can make.