No looking back

My mother was very skilled in the home arts. She was a master seamstress and sewed all of our family’s clothes when I was young. I wore the cutest dresses to school year after year. She could also crochet, knit, and create lace with a handicraft called tatting. The tatting “shuttle” is small and she could tuck it in her purse. She would sit and tat and listen as I had violin and piano lessons each week. She taught me how to sew and crochet. One year I made an apron to enter in the county fair. If I didn’t sew something quite right, I had to take out the stitching and re-sew it. It was tedious work. I got a purple ribbon for that apron. Actually, my mother and I got that purple ribbon together, as she guided me step-by-step in the art of sewing. When I got into high school, my mom was busy and assumed I would sew my own clothes. I did sew a few, but I also remember borrowing some of the cute blouses that my sister had taken the initiative to sew.

I hadn’t had time for those slow and painstaking hand crafts in my adult life until about five years ago when things slowed down a little bit for me. My daughter Mandi and I wanted to crochet something. The only way I would approach it, however, is with this new policy: “No taking out.” No un-doing what I had done—even if I had made a mistake. I needed to have a sense of forward motion and accomplishment. Whatever I made, I would just keep going forward, mistakes and all. I have a very pretty afghan I made with some nice colors and textures that I wouldn’t have figured out if I was constantly “taking it out.” I have since crocheted and sewed many different kinds of blankets, and I have enjoyed it.

I applied the same policy as I have explored gardening. Without the “no taking out, no looking back” mantra I would have stalled in the planning stages, or given up at the lack of perfect results. Instead, I have explored perennial flowers in my flower garden. Some years looks better than others, but every summer I can see what I like, what I don’t like, and adjust. Last spring I had the courage to plant tomato and cucumber seeds because I knew that if they didn’t turn out I wouldn’t worry about it. “No taking out, no looking back.” I’m only going forward, and I’ll learn what I can. We ended up with a greenhouse full of tomatoes, which we are just now finishing.

There are other places in our lives where forward-focused vision and patience with imperfect results helps us keep moving forward. One of these is forgiveness. When I finally ask the Lord to help me forgive, soon I realize my angst and anxiety toward my offender has disappeared. Where did it go? Where did all the negative energy surrounding it go? How did it just dissipate? It’s a miracle, one of the precious gifts from the infinite sacrifice of Jesus Christ. “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” invites Jesus in Matthew 11:28 (all references KJV.) The gift of a heart free of bitterness or offense is indeed “rest unto your souls” (Matthew 11:29). This rest gives us relief and helps us keep moving forward.

Another place for forward vision and “not looking back” is when we need to change. When we recognize we are a little (or a lot) off-course, how do we change? I have found that as I approach my Heavenly Father in prayer and ask for help, I can receive very specific help. And if I ask for more, I receive more help, step-by-step sometimes. It is truly marvelous. And more than that, when have changed through the gift of repentance, the Lord assures us that he will forget our old habits or mistakes. Jesus taught through his apostle Paul that “their sins and iniquities will I remember no more” (Hebrews 10:7).

Christian singer and songwriter, Hilary Weeks (who grew up in Anchorage) wrote a song titled “You Give:” “You give me strength and You give me life. You give me hope and You give me light. And You take my pain. And You take my shame.” Because Jesus gives us good things, and removes our bad things from us, he frees us to move ahead continually.

Last week I drove past a local greenhouse. It was closed up tight. Instead of feeling sad that summer is over, I chose to feel excited, looking forward to March when they will re-open with new things to grow. I am finishing an afghan, but the colors I wanted to use are not available to me. No problem. I will finish with a different color. I have recently improved some habits, and I’m grateful for lasting change. Because of Jesus, each of us can keep moving forward, with “no looking back.”

Beth Wright enjoys family, hiking, gardening, writing and music. She is blessed to be a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.