No turning back: Lessons that endure

** This is the last article of the three part series on Onward & Upward’s backpacking expedition into the Talkeetna mountains. We were a team, we shared a common experience, and we left these moments on Dog Sled Pass. Expedition lessons don’t end when the soggy socks come off; they linger and hide in the hearts of the team to take with them into the future. For the first two parts, see frontiersman.com.

The sun’s heat pushed through the thin wall of the tent. Lamar Roberts [Mar Mar] was already on the ridge. His voice carried down with the excitement of someone who had just witnessed something rare and unforgettable: “I saw the sun come up over those mountains, so beautiful, so beautiful.”

After days of wind, rain, and sinking morale the warmth was almost startling. The sun reminds us that there is a limit to hardship. “Nothing like the sun to lift morale,” said Joshua Willson, expedition leader during breakfast. In the glory of the sunshine, we lingered in camp that morning, spreading our gear out to dry: tents, sleeping bags, hiking boots, jackets, gloves and our soggy socks that had defined so much of our story.

Other challenges still waited beyond that ridge, but in this pause, with the valley opening before us, the cloudless blue sky and laughter from the students rising again, the morning was a gift of joy. This was the essence of our expedition: to be tested, to endure, and to find joy and accomplishment in the spaces in between and each other.

The approach to the steep descent on the ridge wall was a revelation, there is a thin line dividing fear from fun and excitement. Walking along the ridge line of the wall we were to descend that day, hearts raced, nerves fluttered, and you could see the spark in the students' eyes; this wasn’t danger, it was possibility, it was adventure!

The mountain wall had a lesson waiting to teach these students who were ready to hear it.

“I am really scared...My mom will not be happy if she has to pick me up at the hospital.” Said Lamar Roberts [Mar Mar] on the prospect of making a steep descent. A discussion with this student indicated he was still in his growth zone and we could proceed. This aspect of the hike was thrilling for many.

There were a few slips; students fell uphill, poles catching them just as they were shown in practice. Midway down, June blurted out: “I did not think I would be doing this on this trip!”

Connor exclaimed in excitement at the bottom of the descent, “I am so glad I found Onward and Upward!”

Abby glanced back up at the mountain. “We’re literally at the point of no return. We are not hiking back up that wall! “ Confidence rippled through the group. The mountain had tested us, reshaped our group, and sent us forward stronger just as wild places will do.

River crossings, boulder fields, and the unknown just around the next bend, each step another lesson. “Are we going to have to wade through streams that are waist-deep?” June Clifton asked numerous times. The truth was,we don't know what lies ahead, but we prepare.

“All the camps are starting to meld in my head,” said Zander Stein in a profound moment.

Each camp blurred into the next, especially as the weather turned and struggle gave way to ease, we entered a collective flow state, walking all day has a way of doing that. Each backpacker carried something unique, their own experience, a perspective, a memory etched differently into each heart. In the backcountry surprises come without warning; like the lone caribou that startled the instructors during the students solo day.

Each backpacker was on a different expedition, we all shared the same place, with the same group of people, but we are each a separate person with a unique story to take away. As separate persons we each see the world a little differently but all of our voices have value, individually and power collectively. The skills the students learn, self reliance, backcountry survival, open the doors for new possibilities and paths they might take.

On one of our steepest Ascents, Lamar [Mar Mar], paused and reflected on the vista that stretched out before him, “If I woke up one morning in Anchorage and you told me I would be here, I would not believe I could be here, this is beautiful.”

At the point in the trip when the days started blurring together, the sun shined and spirits soared, campsites, meals, drying gear, and breaking camp became a spinning wheel. Still there were struggles, hunger, sore feet, high and low emotions, getting wet, getting sunburned, thirst, the friction and the satisfaction of working together as one team.

And then the moment we had been aiming for, standing atop Dogsled Pass, scouting for the final camp, Joshua Wilson’s insight as he looked towards the western horizon of the valley after many years of doing this hike with students, “All these backpacking trips I’ve done up here have melted together.”

A recognition that all moments pass, even the best ones, and that memories are not a matter of recording linear time but of organizing feelings, and experiences to orient ourselves to the future. This trip isn’t about looking backwards but learning tools to plod ahead on the trail of life.

On that final day, the students put all their hard learned skills to the test, this was their final exam. They set off on their own for the first time, navigating without direct guidance, with instructors quietly watching from the ridge lines. It was a demanding day. They faced shifting terrain, tricky route-finding, group decision-making, group dynamics, and the challenge of choosing the best camp location. All absent the instructors, who they lingered behind boulders, just behind ridgelines, stealthy tracking their progress, invisible to the students, but fully aware of their progress.

When we rejoined them, they were relieved to see us, it had been our longest day backpacking as the students pushed ever forward. The sun sank low, as we gathered for our last, but our most meaningful student debrief. Bailey Killingsworth, in a moment of profound leadership, began by offering a heartfelt compliment to each member of the expedition. The gesture caught fire, sparking a chain of gratitude and praise that circled the group. One by one, students shared their insights, lifting each other up, and marking the true end of the journey, when we recognized how far we had come together.

This last moment together was beautiful. This moment lasted for nearly two hours. Beautiful words and sentiments were shared, like the last warm summer breeze of the season.

“Tomorrow, we’ll hike out over there to our exit and that will be it,” Will said looking past the moment; gesturing westward, his voice carrying a quiet sense of finality. Over the week, we learned to move as one; students, instructors, and the landscape each shaping the other. “It was really cool to see how [students] evolved over the week. I am really grateful for everything the students taught me,” said Joshua Wilson, the seasoned lead guide of the expedition, who with grace, dignity, and poise, carried the heaviest load from his first step to our last.

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