Palmer depot hosts first same-sex wedding

PALMER — When the ceremony was done, Shelby and Sierra Chernik walked Palmer train depot together as a married couple.

They returned moments later, and were formally announced as wife and wife, to applause, before circulating among the wedding guests, who dined on Swedish meatballs, taco pie and wedding cake at tables decked in bright blue crepe.

It might be the first same-sex wedding staged at the Palmer depot — an iconic location near the heart of town that hosts about 25 weddings a year — since the June 26 U.S. Supreme Court ruling.

Community Development director Sandra Garley said the city doesn’t distinguish between types of weddings.

“A wedding is a wedding is a wedding,” she said.

The Aug. 2 ceremony could be described as post-modern. The brides wore white dresses. They wrote their own vows, and crafted parts of it from online sources, traditional ceremonies and their own hearts and minds. A close friend, Garrett Nixon, was the marriage commissioner, and officiated the ceremony, which culminated with the lighting of a unity candle.

At the same time, it was full of familiar wedding tropes — from family members afraid of embarrassing the new spouses to the nervous mother of the bride readying for her big speech, to happy tears. It was at once the traditional wedding, and something almost entirely novel and unimaginable as little as a few years ago.

Afterward, the room filled with applause and conversation.

“I think it went really well!” Shelby said.

There were the familiar nerves. In Shelby’s case, that manifested as a series of peculiar dreams leading up to the wedding.

“I had like nightmares the entire week,” she said. “I was going to marry my mom. My ex-boyfriend came and was trying to break it up.”

Any lingering nerves vanished when she laid eyes on her bride, Shelby said.

“When I saw her, it was super easy, because I just focused on her,” she said.

Unlike movies, songs or books, it was not love at first sight — at least the way Shelby told it in their vows.

“Sierra, when I first saw you in school, I didn’t like you very much,” she said as bridesmaids in blue dresses looked on holding flowers. “Now it’s almost five years later, and I couldn’t be happier or more in love with anyone. I vow to love and cherish you each and every day.”

Sierra’s vows focused less on the story of their relationship and more on the future.

“My love for you is stronger than death,” she said. “Nothing could ever separate me from you.”

National conversations about marriage equality has been part of the national agenda since about 1970, more than twice as long as either of the brides has been alive. Same sex marriage has been legal in Alaska since a federal court decision in October 2014, and legal across the U.S. since June 27. That means that while Sierra and Shelby’s wedding isn’t the first such wedding in the Valley — or even the first same-sex wedding to appear in the Frontiersman — the legality is relatively new.

Mother-of-the-bride Kris Chernik admitted some reservations about the wedding, but they seemed — even to her — fairly typical for mothers of brides everywhere.

“The problem I have is she’s 18 years old,” she said. “I told her I don’t care if you marry a girl or a boy or a dog. Your sexual preference is not my business. I’m not that way. It just is what it is.”

Kris said she was 25 when she got married, and thought that “was too young.” But ultimately, her daughter’s happiness mattered more than any of her concerns, she said.

“You know, she’s happy,” Kris said. “That’s all I can say, that’s good. I hope she continues to be happy for the rest of her life.”

Father of the bride Dr. Jerry Chernik agreed, but for different reasons. His perspective was informed by his experience in Germany, where he served in the military and encountered a different attitude toward the issue of gay marriage. He beamed with pride as he escorted Shelby down the aisle.

“You go to France, England, Germany, gay marriage is: ‘You want a boy or a girl?’ you know?” he said. “But here, it’s frowned on, the Bible thing. I think America is far behind its social mores compared to Europe and the rest of the world. Maybe not the Middle East or Asia.”

Dr. Chernik pointed out that the Valley tends to run more conservative than, for example, Anchorage. However, he said his own conservative political beliefs aren’t informed by a particular religion, and he doesn’t see any conflict between them and his daughter’s marriage.

“I know perhaps some people did not attend today because of their Bible,” he said. “I’m a straight shooter.”

If the wedding had been between a man and a woman, attendance would have been much better, Chernik speculated.

“I bet you there would (have) been triple the people,” he said.

He said he foresees more tolerance, eventually.

Like all weddings, there was also the show-stopping speech. When Kris got up and started talking about Ronald Reagan, concerned looks flooded the wedding party. Kris recited an oft-heard story from the assassination attempt in 1981, Reagan saw an anesthesiologist and said, “I hope you’re a Republican,” to which the anesthesiologist replied. “Today, Mr. President, we’re all Republicans.”

“These two women starting their lives together is about love,” Kris said. “Today, some of us embrace your love, some accept it, some tolerate it, and some of us just don’t get it. But today, no matter our personal views on the subject, we are all there for you. Today Shelby and Sierra, we are all lesbians.”

Contact Brian O’Connor at 352-2269, brian.oconnor@frontiersman.com, or on Twitter @reporterbriano.