Palmer woman fosters love, hope for kids

PALMER — With residents like Linda Helmick, many of the Valley’s most vulnerable have rested a little easier at night.

Since first becoming a foster parent 13 years ago, Helmick has cared for more than 50 children who have nowhere else to turn, many with special needs or medical concerns.

“We have two birth children — I have to think — and four adopted. And then we’ve had 47-plus foster children,” Helmick said. “The majority of them have been medically fragile.”

Helmick’s service was born by her being adopted herself. Once married, she made a pact with her husband to have two biological children then adopt if they wanted more. Helmick worked as a special education teacher at all levels of the Anchorage School District and her husband was in the same field as well.

When they adopted their first two children, “We specifically asked for Down syndrome kids,” she said.

In 1996, Helmick and her husband became emergency foster parents. They took in children who needed temporary housing while a full-time foster family could be found. Later, they worked as a respite family, caring for children whose regular foster families needed someone to take the children for a week or two. In less than a year, the Helmicks progressed into full-time foster parents.

“It didn’t take long. You kind of get hooked on the kids,” Helmick said.

Unlike adoption, going into foster care is not necessarily permanent. Some kids come in during divorce proceedings between their parents, some are removed from neglectful or abusive homes, and some come from parents who just need some help, she said. However, many will eventually be reunited with some member of their family, whether it be a parent or some other relative.

But while in foster care, Helmick said, the intent is to make the children feel safe and comfortable. Foster parents are responsible for medical needs, schooling, clothing and food, she said. Many of the children she sees were denied their childhood before entering foster care, playing the role of parents to their younger siblings. Meeting their needs while making them feel included gives them a chance to get this back, she said.

“You want to make sure they feel like they are really part of a family, and in my family they were. All of my children that are ours in my house always welcomed them and made them feel like family,” Helmick said.

Helmick’s husband passed away a few years ago, and she has since retired and has self-bestowed the title “family CEO.” She currently has one foster baby in her home. There are also three of her adopted children: a 23-year-old with Down syndrome, an 11-year-old with ADHD and a 10-year-old with rare heart and lung ailments.

“Our philosophy has always been we will be there for the kids no matter how long they needed us,” Helmick said.

In addition to providing the necessary care and compassion for the children, Helmick said her role is to play advocate. In the mix of lawyers, judges, state custody workers and parents, the children are easily lost in the mix, she said.

“I make sure the kid is kept foremost and that everyone knows everything that’s going on,” she said. “Their needs aren’t necessarily hard to meet, … but I make sure they are.”

There’s always a large need for foster parents in the Valley, Helmick said. The children come in all ages, and it can sometimes be as simple as helping young mothers learn how to become moms, she said.

For those interested in becoming foster parents, Helmick recommends starting as respite care providers. Parents know it is only temporary and can have a chance to see what it is all about.

Without the commitment, Helmick said there is plenty people can do to help these children, most of whom don’t have much of anything. Donations of school supplies and holiday gifts are always welcome. One big thing is donating suitcases and duffle bags, she said.

“Can you imagine how demeaning it is to have to carry your stuff in garbage bags?” Helmick said. “But sometimes that’s all they have, and they have to take their things from place to place.”

Helmick, who won Alaska Parents of the Year in 2001, said it’s not what she does that makes a big difference. The community has to work together to care for the children when they most need it. She said she sees families that do much more than she does, and asks you to help them out when you recognize what they are doing.

“If you know someone who has foster kids, offer to watch them so they can have a break,” Helmick said, smiling with well-used laugh lines.

Contact Todd L. Disher at todd.disher@frontiersman.com or 352-2252.