PogSue candidate gives interview

Being Frank, by Frank Ameduri

If you've been reading the column over the past two years, you're familiar with the PogSue party. It's the Pragmacratic Party of the Greatest darned State in the Union. The PogSues have weighed in on several of the big challenges facing Alaska, but so far have not fielded a candidate to tackle any of those challenges. All of that might soon be changing as one of the party leaders, Jocko Slidecky, seems poised to announce his candidacy for something (though nobody knows exactly what) in the near future. Following is an interview with the possible PogSue candidate.

Being Frank: So, I hear you're thinking about running for some office. Any idea which seat you'll run for?

Jocko Slidecky: I haven't made up my mind yet. It looks like [Sen. Scott] Ogan's job might be available soon, and that might be interesting. Looks like the governor's chair is vulnerable, too. Let's face it, it doesn't matter what I run for; somebody with brains and compassion needs to run for something.

BF: It's hard to pinpoint a philosophical bearing for the PogSues. Some people think the party leans left and others think it leans right. Would you describe the party as more liberal or more conservative?

JS: Nope.

BF: Can you elaborate?

JS: If you catch a PogSue leaning, it'll be forward. The people who got us into to all these messes claim they're leaning left or right, but they're mostly leaning backward, and that's a problem when the wind's in your face. It doesn't matter whether you fall on your left cheek or your right cheek, you can't make progress when you're sitting on your butt. Sometimes the solution might seem a tad conservative, and sometimes it might seem a tad liberal. Who cares, as long as we keep moving forward and we don't step on people's rights?

BF: The coal-bed methane issue is a big one in the Valley right now. Where do you stand on all that?

JS: You can't tell people you're doing them a big favor by trampling their rights -- bottom line. You'll never convince me that it's a good idea for lawmakers to collect paychecks from private industry, that's a joke, and it's an insult to the intelligence of voters in this community. Do we need progress? Yes. Is development part of that equation? Yes. But it's about time the people in this state started reaping the lion's share from that development. It's about time our public servants started serving the public instead of big corporations and their own greedy needs. It's harsh to say it, but it's true. I don't care what CBM development company comes in here, they're coming to make money. That's fine by me, but they'd better do it in a way that benefits the people of this community, or they're simply not welcome. It takes courage for an elected official to say that, and I haven't seen a lot of courage in our Valley legislators.

BF: There's some question about the amount of time you spend in the state. Care to comment on that?

JS: It's true that my fianc/e is a concert pan flautist and that she spends a lot of time at a recording studio in Pittsburgh, Kan. I have spent a little time down there, but I spend most of the time here. If I'm elected, I'll split my time between Juneau and the Valley -- but I have to see my baby, so I'll spend a month or two in Kansas, too.

BF: Where will you stay when you're in the Valley?

JS: I might rent an apartment. I also heard you can plug in your RV behind the LIO, and that's an op for me. I've got a VW camper bus. Vintage.

BF: Some people might take exception to that.

JS: It's never bothered them in the past.

BF: The PFD has come under scrutiny lately. Do you have a take on that?

JS: Did I mention that our elected officials are cowards? Look, everybody in the state is screaming about wanting something: More funding for schools, better roads, more law enforcement, you name it. They're also screaming that they don't want to pay taxes, and they definitely don't want to give up the PFD. I've got two words on that. Grow up. As I said before, this state needs to get more from the extraction of its natural resources, and that's the first part of the equation. We've also got to come to grips with the fact that we take more federal dollars per-capita than any other state, and that we're all being paid by our own state to live here. At some point you've got to move out of Mom and Dad's place and start buying your own toothpaste -- even if it means camping out at the LIO. At some point we're all going to have to decide what services we really want, and then we're going to have to agree to pitch in and pay for them. It cracks me up when somebody complains that it takes two days for a state trooper to show up at their house, but the same guy can't wait to spend his PFD check on a big screen TV, and he darned sure doesn't want to pay taxes. Those troopers don't work on a volunteer basis, folks. Fresh asphalt doesn't fall from heaven, and school books aren't dropped under the tree by the magical chicken of education.

BF: So you're pro-tax and anti-PFD?

JS: I'm pro-responsibility and pro-solution. I'm pro-community and pro-reality. I'm not anti anything. Look, it's easy to say, "I'm not going to tax you, and I love your PFD more than the other guy." It's actually easier to say that and slash important programs than it is to tell the truth. Now, after programs have been slashed to the bone, people are starting to say, "Hey, wait a doggone minute. We didn't mean we wanted our kids to go to crappy schools! We didn't mean we don't want fish and wildlife protection!" Well, by not saying anything, that is what we meant, and that's the hard truth. If you don't like the truth, then keep voting for the other guys. Your kids will suffer in school more every year, your roads will get worse and your quality of life will diminish. Sooner or later, the natural resources will run out and the big companies will pick up stakes and head for greener pastures -- taking an unfair amount of the profit with them.

BF: That's a harsh message. It's not the kind of populist thing people are used to hearing. Do you really think it'll fly?

JS: Who knows? If it's not populist, then I'm happy. A populist is someone with a gentle voice and who has one hand on your shoulder while the other is in your vest pocket. If ignorance is bliss, and if you value bliss over progress, then vote for the other guys. If you're ready for the truth and to roll up your sleeves to make it a better truth, then maybe you're ready for the PogSues.

You can contact Jocko Slidecky through Frank Ameduri at the Frontiersman.