Promoting resilient families and preventing child abuse

When I was small, I remember spending time with my grandmother. She made us carob candy and always made me feel important and loved. She listened to my stories, answered my questions, and wrote me letters. Her favorite hymn reflects her attitude toward both God and children: “Dearest Children, God is near you, watching o’er you day and night.” It was easy for me to feel God’s love and protection because my parents and grandparents modeled it for me.

Relationships like mine and my grandma’s have a protective influence on children. The attachments babies and young children develop with their parents and families help wire strong connections as their brains grow. When difficulties arise in life, as they always do, children with strong attachments can better recover from stress. This ability to recover from setbacks and adversity is called resilience. A variety of factors affect a person’s resilience, including genetics, temperament, and environment. But kids that thrive usually have protective influences in their lives.

April is child abuse prevention month. Building resilience and promoting protective factors in families and neighborhoods prevent abuse. As communities of faith, we value families and children; we seek to love, teach, and protect them. Children need adults in their lives to be wiser, stronger, and kinder. They need us to be grown-ups. We cannot protect our kids from every evil influence or make them always behave or believe the way we want. But there are concrete ways we can build resilience in our families, faith communities, and neighborhoods.

R.O.C.K. (Raising Our Children with Kindness) Mat-Su is a collective impact project that is housed within the Mat-Su Health Foundation. R.O.C.K. Mat-Su coordinates community efforts to end child abuse and neglect. They promote resilience through activities, events, and education. R.O.C.K. Mat-Su uses the Strengthening Families model to guide their efforts to protect kids from adverse experiences and stress. The five principles of Strengthening Families are resilient parents, social connections, knowledge of parenting and child development, concrete support in times of need, and social and emotional competence. As members of faith communities, we can apply these same principles.

First, we can protect children by supporting their parents. Parenting is stressful, and resilient parents better navigate that stress. Faith communities are uniquely situated to promote healing and relationships. Congregations excel at providing social connections and concrete support in times of need. Jesus instructs us to feed the hungry, care for widows and orphans, visit those in prison, and minister to the sick and afflicted. He tells us not to judge each other but to follow his example. When we lift others in their moments of distress, we magnify God’s love.

While it may not seem like an obvious fit, faith communities can increase parents’ knowledge of child development and build emotional competence. We can invite speakers to address topics of interest or share learning opportunities from the broader community in our newsletters or social media. When parents know what to expect as their children grow, they are more likely to respond appropriately to their needs. Parenting groups provide informal settings to discuss challenges and develop friendships. Developing social and emotional competence for parents and children helps them navigate relationships, identify and express emotions in healthy ways, and communicate effectively.

Solid relationships and healthy expression of love and affection also protect children from sexual abuse. Child abuse and neglect occur in every community, religion, culture, and socio-economic status. Unfortunately, the appearance of religious devotion can camouflage predatory and abusive behaviors. Every adult can learn to identify risky situations and intervene to protect children from sexual abuse.

R.O.C.K. Mat-Su sponsors in-person sexual abuse prevention training through Darkness to Light (D2L) for churches and other organizations. Individuals in the Mat-Su can access the training online for free this month at D2L.org.

D2L’s Stewards of Children training teaches how to prevent, recognize, and responsibly address child sexual abuse in your organization or home. It provides evidence-based prevention tools to review policies and practices with children and youth groups, recognize grooming behaviors, and prevent one-on-one situations that increase the risk of abusive encounters (enter code FLIPTHESWITCH at check-out, D2L.org).

D2L’s Talking with Children About Their Bodies curriculum helps parents navigate age-appropriate conversations with their kids about their bodies, touch, sex, and secrets. These conversations protect children from sexual predators by deepening their relationships and increasing communication (enter code TALK2020 at check-out, D2L.org).

As followers of Jesus, we access his divine healing power through faith. We believe that people can grow, repent, improve. Sometimes, healing comes quickly as the result of unshaken faith and fervent prayer. But more often, God will guide us to help and support each other as we learn and practice faith. He blessed the children with joy and love during his earthly ministry, saying, “Suffer little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God” (Luke 18:16-17 KJV). Together we can bless the lives of families and children. He magnifies our efforts to improve; His grace provides the ultimate resilience.

Amity Condie has lived in Palmer since 2004. She loves reading, skiing, and napping in sunlight. She is currently enrolled in an online Master of Social Work Trauma Certificate program and is a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.