PUBLISHER'S DESK: No more Mat-Su, no more anywhere

My early morning routine involves checking my Facebook feed. It’s become a habit I can’t seem to shake.

In my feed a couple of weeks ago was a gofundme.com link that Tina Novotney set up for her sister’s two girls. Tina’s sister is Brandy Sullivan, who was shot and killed on Feb. 16th. Her ex-husband Adam Sullivan stands accused of the crime. It grabbed my attention because it sounded eerily familiar to a story in my own family. Then when I dug deeper into what happened and found out that Brandy’s 13-year-old daughter is the one who called the authorities, it really hit home.

Whitney Branshaw wrote about the story in our sister paper, the Anchorage Press. It ran in the March 16 edition and we published not only in the Frontiersman, but also The Eagle (our Chugiak-Eagle River newspaper). You can find the story at anchoragepress.com, A History of Silence; Alaska’s Struggle with Domestic Violence. Whitney did a wonderful job.

The violence hits home.

My brother Tom and his wife Robin have two sons together — Jher and Josh, Jher being three years older. They were raising the boys in the Snowflake, Arizona area. Although Tom and Robin would remain good friends they decided that their relationship together would no longer be. They both remained very involved with raising the boys. As life moved on, Robin began dating and eventually got into a relationship. She decided at some point to end the relationship, but the man she was seeing wasn’t going to allow that to happen.

On the morning of Jan. 18th, 2001, Jher left for school while Josh stayed home with Robin because he was filling ill. When Robin noticed the car of the man she just ended the relationship with pulling up into her yard, she put a coat on Josh and sent him to her uncle’s house. It would be the last motherly thing she would do. He came into her home and shot and killed her. She was only 35. Then he drove to a nearby lake and killed himself. Jher would be the first to find Robin when he returned home from school. I recall being at my Dad’s house in Colorado when my brother called to deliver the news. His life and the lives of his two boys were changed forever. It would be a tough row to hoe.

When I asked his permission to tell you his story in my column, he was very forthcoming. Robin’s death is a painful part of his story. Jher was only 14 and Josh was 11. Very similar in age to Brandy Sullivan’s daughters. I asked Tom if this guy was violent with Robin prior to this day.

“He was somewhat aggressive from what I understand,” Tom said. “She would not have tolerated physical abuse. He did beat his ex-wife. That’s why she divorced him.”

Obsession turned to possession with this man. And the possession was so intense that he decided if he couldn’t have Robin, then no one could. As a result, my nephews lost their mother and my brother lost his dear friend and parenting partner. Tom would never remarry and raised the boys with the support of Robin’s family.

“I really hope those girls (Brandy Sullivan’s two daughters) have a strong support system,” he offered, unsolicited. “They are going to need every bit of it. My heart goes out them.”

In the Mat-Su Valley there is a movement at foot to extinguish domestic violence/sexual assault. It is called NO MORE MAT-SU. My fellow Wasilla Sunrise Rotarian, Jeaninne Milne is leading the way. No More Mat-Su is fortunate to have Jeannine because of her experience as a Domestic Abuse/Sexual Assault Clinician at Alaska Family Services.

The No More Mat-Su cause was brought to the attention of the Wasilla Sunrise Rotary by Burchell High School principal, Jason Marvel. He felt compelled to present it after hearing that 1 in every 2 women suffers from abuse. Jason has two daughters, so it resonated with him. Wasilla Sunrise Rotary Club and its members have given tremendous support to this cause. The beauty of No More Mat-Su, aside from bringing awareness to an issue that plagues our community, is the diversity of the people involved. From high school students to well established community movers and shakers, women and men, all have rallied for this cause.

On Sunday, April 9, from 1 to 4 p.m., the Glenn Massay Theater will be hosting youth and adult leaders from around the Valley to say “No More!”

No More is a national campaign to end domestic violence and sexual assault. This year local youth have taken the lead to stand up against domestic and sexual violence in the Valley and work towards making a change. This event is free and open to the public to attend. There will be a live performance of “Tea is Consent — You decide if you want tea.” A PSA and Visual Art contest with prizes awarded among other activities.

Please join me in attending this year’s event. And join all of us in saying, no more ‘it’s none of my business,’ no more, ‘she’ll figure it out,’ no more, ‘why doesn’t she just leave him?’

No more Mat-Su. No more anywhere.

Thank you for reading the Frontiersman.