Publisher's Notebook: Nominate your woman of distinction

On Friday Nov. 2 at the Raven Hall on the Alaska State Fairgrounds, the Frontiersman will host an event that celebrates the women of our community. The Women of Distinction event is a reboot of the Frontiersman’s Women in Business and Women of Influence. Nominations are submitted to the Frontiersman on our home page at frontiersman.com. Fill out the short form and the journey begins from nominations to finalists to Woman of the Year. The nomination period ends Sept. 28. Feel free to submit past years’ nominees.

The name change gives every woman the opportunity to be honored from business leaders, non-profit leaders, community volunteers to stay-at-home moms. Each woman plays their own distinctive role that makes our community the best kept secret for quality of life. I would love to see nominees from every community in the Mat-Su Valley.

My Women of Distinction

There’s no doubt that my life’s journey has been heavily influenced by the women whose paths I have crossed. To watch them battle for that proverbial seat at the table over the years and then excel when given the opportunity is rewarding. I know our society has a long way to go but we should celebrate the accomplishments of today’s woman. And move the cause that much further.

No one honed my development to appreciate the better half of our society more than my mother, Ingrid, did. While my father was away from home quite a bit for military service and training, mom kept the household and us five children in check. Her early influences on me included attending my Little League baseball games, even though she was raised in Germany and had no clue about baseball, she was always there. She was lady in the bleachers who was working on her knitting or reading a book. She made sure we were well rounded by attending Mass on Sundays. I always played a musical instrument at her behest. I would accompany her to theatrical performances including the opera. Her most valued lesson for me was respecting others no matter our differences.

Of course, there was the natural bond of childbirth but it would be a life threatening illness that would bring us even closer. My mother tells the story that one morning when I was 3 years old I woke up and my lymph nodes were swollen like balloons. We were living in Germany and my parents took me to the military hospital. She was told that there was nothing they could do and I probably wouldn’t survive the week. Fortunately for me my mother, as most mothers would do, did not accept the prognosis. Being a German citizen, she took me to a German hospital where I was admitted and treated for months. During that time my mother was not allowed to see me. I asked her how she was able to cope during that period.

“I was never closer to God in my life. I prayed the Rosary every day.”

Obviously, I survived but for the next few years I wouldn’t leave my mother’s side. She recalled, “My friends would make comments because you would sit at my feet and didn’t go play with the other kids. You were very introverted but I didn’t care you were right where I wanted you to be.”

Her influence on me would affect my worldview as well. My childhood development extended through a period of civil growth in our country. The mid-sixties through the seventies was a tremendous time in history. Racial equality, women’s rights, the Vietnam War just to name a few. It was front and center in our household as well. We discussed and debated it all. Mom taught us to look through the other persons eyes. Understand their plight before judging. Her compassion for others was never ending.

We lost my mother on Aug. 1, 1998, after she suffered a major heart attack. She had been struggling with her heart for a few years. We lost her even though two weeks before her death she was told she would be around for years by her doctor.

My world came crashing down with her death but her influence extended beyond me. She had a great impact on two other women of distinction for me. Her relationship with my wife Melissa was made of love. My mother was an incredible home chef. Her meals were memorable and she passed on her skills to not only her daughters but shared her love of meal creation with Melissa. More than that she was a mentor for Melissa and the loss my mother was as deeply felt by her as it was felt by the rest of us siblings. Melissa and my connection was made much greater because of my mother’s open arms.

Early in our marriage while I was climbing the corporate ladder in my first career our young family moved five times from 1991 to 1998. Living in Colorado, Montana, Texas (two different communities) and Kansas. Each time I would leave first to establish us and the family would follow. And as trying as that must have been for her she never said no. She’s been an unbelievable partner through it all. Now we add Alaska to our travels and we’re setting roots.

Aside from myself, Melissa and my siblings my mother’s influence can be seen in her grandchildren. Their time was limited with her. Her youngest grandchild, our son Jon, was born two days after my mother’s heart attack but it’s uncanny how their personalities are so much alike.

My daughter Victoria is the oldest of her 11 grandchildren. Victoria didn’t go to daycare. When my wife and I went to work she was with her grandmother. Her time with my mom was very important in her early development. Reading, singing, dancing, and long walks were part of her day-to-day routine. Victoria excelled.

Now Victoria is a mother of two boys and will deliver us a little girl, Harper Marie, in November. She has a successful career and loving man to share her journey. It wasn’t easy for Victoria. After high school graduation she moved five hours away to the Denver area and never looked backed. She has built her life on her own. A life that included the father of her two boys who could never shake his addictions. For many years she raised them as a single parent. The boys’ father would drift in and out of rehab until his untimely death a little over a year ago. Her strength has been incredible and the ability of her and her husband Travis to walk Landon and Joey through a trauma that kids should never have to face has been beautiful to watch.

Those are my favorite women of distinction among many over the years.

The influence of women in our society mostly goes unnoticed. Their work behind closed doors is under appreciated. Here is our opportunity to celebrate them. Men go to frontiersman.com and nominate the women of distinction in your life. Nominate them because you appreciate them.