Puppies and a pigskin pioneer

LEGISLATIVE MOVE TO THE PORT Finally! A sparkling NEW tenant for the port.

Who else but the Alaska State Legislature?

Rep. Ogan brought up the subject of moving the Legislature out of Juneau; coincidentally, moments later, the port was an item of discussion.

The MOUTH thinks the two deserve each other.

WHY NOT? The port is a little like Juneau, after all. It is somewhat isolated, despite close proximity. Plus it has snowmachine access, good plinking and hunting grounds, and no bars. Lack of electricity and rustic housing would keep the meetings nice and short. Unlike Juneau, it has plenty of room. And although there isnt much of a road, there IS a road, so diehards could drive to watch the circus.

PARADE PSYCHOLOGY One of the reasons to live here is the Palmer Parade. It exudes quaintness with just enough flash.

For instance, there were the three women wearing buckets on their heads that were REALLY the thimble ladies. Where else would you find that?

There was a very aerobic Smokey the Bear, an A-1 Septic truck, and a human mother musk ox and baby.

The parade just gets better every year, and this column cant begin to describe all the great entries. Highlights included the flying homing pigeons, the calliope, the competing dachshunds and Dalmations, the horses (who dumped right in front of the reviewing stand), the legions of Little Leaguers, the bubbles and the old cars. Palmer is the best place to be. Especially on parade day.

PUPPY THERAPY It was more than a Kodak moment a dozen, enchanted children holding sleeping puppies on the library lawn. It was hard to see who was happier the kids cradling the animals or the little snoring puppies.

Our favorite musher, Martin Buser, is the gentle owner of these lucky puppies. He brought his dogs to Palmers Colony Days and shared them with the community.

The puppies, who are future Iditarod runners, are not in training yet. In fact, they are only competing in nap-races these days.

But holding a sleeping puppy is 100-percent guaranteed to improve your day. This is a proven fact. It makes your heart smile, and the delight of puppy breath should be bottled and sold. Thank you, Martin, for your pile of puppies.

PUBLIC THERAPY AT THE MTA ANNUAL MEETING There were fun door prizes, toys, popcorn, sandwiches, and cookies. There were politicians running for office. There were free mosquitoes. Shoe polish kits, plastic measuring spoons, and miniature phone books were given away as freebies. An elderly co-op member declared that next time, MTA should give away magnifying glasses in order to read the mini phone books.

The meeting itself was a public therapy session with some very impassioned comments and stories. And when voices got shrill, Martin Busers puppies made some equally loud vocal objections. There were some longstanding aerobic vote counts.

All in all, it was a great annual meeting. And the whole production competed with a ball game at the Hermon Brothers Field. Which do you think ended first?

PALMERS FIRST FOOTBALL TACKLE REVISITED David Brewer, from Port Angeles, Wash., stopped by last week for the Palmer parade. He was the original left tackle for Palmers first football team in 1952. This is his first time back in 45 years. Some of you may remember his father, Cy Brewer, the very first manager of MEA!

THE MEETING STOOD STILL The clock at the front of the borough assembly room read 5:40. Two hours, three hours, even four hours later, it still read 5:40. Comments in the audience suggested the meeting seemed endless and time had stopped. Nothing at the horseshoe end of the room seemed to be working.

In retrospect it appears the meeting never actually began and certainly never ended.

The MOUTH found out later that the battery from the wall clock was stolen! Is this another conspiratorial attempt to defeat the long, cumbersome public process?

THE MOUTH WONDERS

Is it true the Air Force band made a wrong turn during the parade?

Is it true that Alaska Business Monthly magazines upcoming issue is highlighting our Valley?

Is it true moonings happened at more than one Valley high schools graduation commencement?

Is it true the large gravel pit along the Glenn Highway will soon operate below ground-water level and therefore be on a barge?

Is it true Evergreen Street in Palmer will be shut down soon for refurbishing?

Is it true that 23 acres south of Palmer Jr./Middle School will be transformed into upscale senior housing duplexes?

Is it true Rep. Ogan was recently labeled shy, reticent and meek?

Is it true Wasilla roadsides are 17,740 pounds lighter of trash after various roadside collection litter campaigns?

Is it true Dave Stancliff, legislative aide to Rep. Ogan, is so multi skilled he can break into his own car in eight seconds flat?

Is it true bean-bag throwers much prefer human faces over cardboard cutout targets?

Is it true a recent potato spill caused dramatic traffic excitement in Wasilla?

Is it true that the 49th parade entry script read, A 1963 Ford, by the Independent Baptist Church of Anchorage, is the number-one choice of rednecks?

Infamous borough scribe Barbara Hunt puts words in The Mouth every other Friday. If you have questions, tips or suggestions, fax them to 376-8059, to her attention at 352-2277, or mail to 5751 E. Mayflower Ct., Wasilla, AK 99654.