Put me down for a 'sweet' five

Resslin' Around, by Casey Ressler

The box was sitting there, unopened, and I didn't want it to feel lonely, so I did my part -- I opened it, and pulled out one doughnut, letting the old-fashioned glaze ooze all over my hand.

A box of anything doesn't last long in the newsroom, because we are vultures in general, but a box of Krispy Kreme doughnuts certainly don't have the shelf life of, say, a box of eclairs, particularly when myself and sports editor Jeremiah Bartz are in the room.

The first doughnut, which was bought as part of the WHS fund-raiser (see stories, right), tasted pretty good, just like my first-ever Krispy Kreme, which I ate in Maui last February. It was good, but I ate it so fast I never really got to enjoy it, so I ate another one, just to reaffirm that first taste.

The second doughnut was good. Damn good, in fact. The glaze was spread from my ears to my Adam's apple, and I liked it that way. Mmmmm. Unfortunately, I had to leave a few minutes later on assignment, and I figured those Krispy Kremes would be gone upon my return.

But they weren't. In fact, nobody could find them in the coat closet, under the tool box and wedged behind three cameras, right where I had left them, and every doughnut was still there.

So I had a little mid-morning snack -- and that third doughnut was sooooo good. Soooo good in fact, I had a cup of coffee, which left me yearning for just one more doughnut. "Just one more," I told myself. "I can do this. Just one more."

I picked up a fourth one and ate it as fast as I could, to make sure nobody would see me and I could tell a little fib and say that I only had eaten three.

About that time, my phone rang, and it was my wife, who works in the same office. She asked if I wanted to meet her downstairs for lunch.

"Uhh, I've kinda eaten three, um, maybe four, doughnuts already," I told her.

"Ressler," she said in a condescending tone. "Four doughnuts for lunch?"

"No, it was breakfast and lunch," I told her.

"So you don't want your spaghetti?" she asked.

"Does it have old-fashioned glaze in it?" I asked.

Click.

The simple point is that it is good to see, in this Atkins-crazed world, a couple of fat guys like myself can make sure today's students are literate. Making a difference is what it's all about. It has nothing to do with the dripping glaze from a Krispy Kreme doughnut, or five of them eaten in a five-minute span, for that matter.

I figure it's my personal responsibility to make sure today's students have the literature they need, and the books that help educate them and turn them into tomorrow's leaders. After all, the skinny people aren't doing their part, right?

Is four or five doughnuts too much to ask people to eat to promote literacy in the Valley? At what price an educated society?

Casey Ressler (valleylife@frontiersman.com) is the Valley Life editor. He is currently feeling a bit on the bloated side.