Raising a strong daughter in the image of Judith

When the Old Testament’s Judith was eleven years old, I wonder if her mother ever wrung her hands over her strong-willed daughter, ever wept at Judith’s stubborn streak or worried over her fierce anger. Was she fearful that her girl would end up hurt or pushed away from the nice neighbor girls? Did she yell her prayers to God and beg him to soften her a bit, to change her a bit? Did she have a strong lady to point Judith toward the way I point my daughter toward Judith?

The book of Judith is part of the Septuagint, the Greek translation of the Hebrews’ Holy Scriptures, which was completed during the second century BC. It was used by Christ and the apostles, the early church, and continues to be used today by the Catholic Church (in English now!). Probably historical fiction, it tells another story of God’s deliverance of his Israelites “by the hand of a woman,” an oft-repeated phrase. It spans five centuries of history and geography, from Nineveh to Nebuchadnezzar. Judith is written in the same fashion of other famously strong Hebrew women like Deborah the judge and warrior, Esther the bold and cunning queen, and Mary who agreed to a most inconvenient Child.

As the story goes, Judith was incensed to learn that the Israelite leaders were poised to surrender to the Assyrians rather than die of thirst. Chapter eight reports that she called for them to visit her; they came (apparently she was also bossy); she delivered quite a tongue-lashing; she preached; and she informed them of her plan, which would “do something that will go down from generation to generation among the descendents of our race.” The leaders basically said, “go and God bless.”

And what a plan it was: while bad-boy Holophernes thought he was seducing Judith, she was seducing him with her “festive garments and feminine adornments.” While she flirted and flattered and swirled her wine, he drank the wine, “more than he had ever drunk on one single day in his life.” When the guards slipped away with knowing winks, she slipped into his inner chamber, asked God for strength, cut off Holophernes’ head, and quickly tiptoed back to her town, where she presented the head to Uzziah with a flourish (at least, I picture her doing it with a flourish).

“No one had a bad word to say about her, for she was a very God-fearing woman,” Judith 8:8.

It’s the God-fearing part that makes all the difference for a strong-willed woman (or man of course), that sense of wonder at the greatness of God that can soften any prideful, angry edges and allow more patience and kindness to shine. What a combination that makes ~ patience and kindness and strength of will! Judith knew she was tough, smart, beautiful, and right; she was angry with Israel’s leaders and enemies during a time of terrible trouble and violence, but she loved God and acted in his service, her way. A strong-willed woman was what was needed for this job.

“Let your every creature serve you, for you spoke and they were made.” Judith 15:14.

Every creature can serve God, whatever their makeup, whatever their talents and troubles; whether calmly compliant or insanely strong-willed. My daughter’s strong will, like Judith’s, is good. She was made by God and she can serve him her way (although I hope it never involves wine, men, and swords). My prayer as her mother is for the Holy Spirit to fill her with the fear of God. My job as her mother is to teach and model the fear of God, so I point her toward Judith. I imagine I will still wring my hands, weep, and worry through the years, but knowing this lady’s story softens my stress.

From her hymn of praise in the last chapter:

“Sing to him a new song, exalt and acclaim his name.

“The Lord Almighty thwarted our enemies; by a woman’s hand he confounded them.

“Not by youths was their mighty one struck down, but by Judith the daughter of Merari; by the beauty of her countenance she disabled him, to raise up the afflicted in Israel.

“The Persians were dismayed at her daring, the Medes appalled at her boldness.

“A new hymn I will sing to my God. O Lord, great are you and glorious, wonderful in power and unsurpassable.

“To those who fear you, you are very merciful.”

May I raise such a woman. A beautiful, daring, bold, musical woman who lives well and uses her strong will in the service of the God who made her and loves her. May others sing with her of God’s praises and mercies. May I, even now in my older age, continue to grow into such a woman who worries less and rests more in his plan.

Allison Howell and her family are longtime residents of the Valley. They are Catholic converts and keep a hobby farm full of animals and children.