Resolutions, like change, are a team sport

January is a month to be so very thankful for this New Year ahead of us. We have a clean slate for this upcoming year to write what we want to with our lives. Resolutions are a mix of hope, courage and desire to change and can be powerfully positive when handled strategically.

Have you made personal resolutions? According to Stephen J. Kraus, 40 percent of Americans set New Year’s resolutions in 2000.

What causes so many of us to set these resolutions? Is it rooted in the idea that we can better our condition? I recently heard someone say: “I just don’t want to keep living my life like this. I want it to be different!”

We are not prisoners of our own status quo. The creation is designed with a very clear and distinct message on display, that change is a wonderful and integral part of life. When we see the way a baby changes and how we adults get so much joy in the development of a child it is not rocket science to understand that change and growth are a beautiful part of life. When the geese fly into our Mat-Su lakes in the spring and herald the new season of warmer weather and growth, you know change is a huge part of the creator’s plan for the planet and for us as the target of his love.

So when we set our hearts to make changes in our lives we align ourselves in harmony with the Creator and his creation. The courage to set a new personal goal for your life can be an awesome thing. But setting goals and completing goals are two entirely different things. Failed resolutions can be very discouraging. Proverbs 13:12 points this out: “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but desire fulfilled is a tree of life.”

The sense here is that when we hope for something, like a positive change in our lives, and then if it is postponed, it causes discouragement. The reverse is true as well, that when our desire is fulfilled it is a tree of life or figuratively a lasting and deep-rooted blessing to our lives.

Richard Wisemen from the University of Bristol, UK, did a study in 2007 with 3,000 people showing that 88 percent failed in their resolutions despite the fact that 52 percent of the study’s participants were confident of success at the beginning.

We can all identify with the experience of optimistically setting a goal that we find later turns to disappointment. Thus, we all have high regard for anyone who can make and keep positive changes in their lives in any way, large or small.

Once when I was living in Georgia for a few years, I had a friend visit me from Alaska. He had his young 2-year-old daughter out for a swim at a swimming pool. Being from Interior Alaska, this was a new thing for the child. He got in the pool and set her on the side of the pool and was encouraging her to jump into his arms. This pool idea was really intimidating to the child and all of daddy’s coaxing wasn’t working. Then I began to cheer her on saying: “Sydney, you can do it!” and she jumped right in.

Then daddy tried it again and once again she was stuck in her fear at the edge of the pool. I encouraged her again with, “Sydney, you can do it!” and she jumped right in again. It really taught me the power that encouragement can give to people who are stuck or challenged. We all can get stuck on the “edge of the pool” and just need a word of encouragement to make the leap. Encouragement fuels our resolution desires and helps us maintain our resolve at critical uphill moments.

Sustaining change requires a lot of energy from us. One reason we fall short of goals, according to Tony Stoltzfus, is because we fail to understand that “change is a team sport.” He teaches that there are three things needed to sustain change: support, encouragement and accountability.

When I ran track in high school and would come around the final curve of the 880-yard dash and hear my friends shouting encouragement, I would find myself able to dig down deep within myself, past the pain and weariness, and find an amazing supply of fresh energy and motivation to finish strong. Affirmation, encouragement and validation as we climb the hill of change give us motivational energy that is essential to our success. Think for a minute how you might be able to get the encouragement that you need in your climb.

Frodo said it powerfully in the first “Lord of the Rings” film, when he accepts the heavy responsibility of a journey to Mordor, he fervently tells the others, “but I cannot do it alone.” If you want to beat the statistics of the 88 percent failure rate it is time to reach out for support. Who can you call upon in your life for support and encouragement? We all need someone we can trust, someone who can cheer us on, and as Bob Harper of “The Biggest Loser” show says: “You need someone who is on your side.”

Make a list of those people that could be your support team and set a small goal within the next 10 days, to have a conversation with three of them, to ask them to partner with you. Creating your own support system is a critical first step in setting yourself up for success to make the life changes that you are targeting this season. And may God himself, our greatest encourager, give you grace for change this New Year.

Martin Flack is a life coach and international speaker with Riverstone Ministries (riverstoneministries.com). He has run a greenhouse bedding plant business in the Interior Alaska and has served on pastoral staff for 25 years in the Kenny Lake area.

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