Sadly, marriage is no big deal anymore

Getting married these days is more of a gamble than ever. A sacred institution that used to symbolize a lifelong union and commitment is becoming more of an exercise in convenience. For many couples, marriage isn’t even an option anymore, and we're seeing an ages-old tradition in decline.

A study conducted by the National Marriage Project at Rutgers University tells a disturbing tale of the state of marriage in America. Over the past four decades, the national marriage rate has dropped 43 percent. Coupled with a divorce rate of nearly 50 percent, it’s no wonder being single these days is like walking a mine field.

The declining trend in marriage, the study says, is due to some couples opting for other alternatives, like living together outside of marriage or putting off the act until later in life.

I was always taught that marriage was forever. You meet your special “soul mate,” fall in love and live happily ever after. A nice sentiment, but hardly true for most couples today.

One element not considered in the Rutgers study is career. Young professionals today — myself included — more often than ever put their careers at the top of their lists of priorities. Work long and hard for a number of years, succeed, then pursue that special relationship.

What’s most disturbing about the study is that just 30 percent of girls and 40 percent of boys responding say they think married people are happier than those who stay single or live together out of wedlock. Maybe that’s an indication of the skyrocketing divorce rate, which now is seeing the children of divorce come into their own.

Marriage no longer seems a sacred institution in our society. It’s a thing to do. Doesn’t work out? No problem, divorce is just another thing. Hey, we live busy lives. We don't have time to spend working on a long, complicated thing like being married.

I’ve never tied the knot myself, (been engaged twice, but I’m hardly any kind of authority on the subject) and I guess I fall into that group that puts off the act until later in life. But I do know my values, and they tell me that marriage is something more than just a thing to do, it’s the thing to do, and it's for the rest of your life. Someday I’ll marry, and hopefully my children won't be part of that 60 percent to 70 percent who don’t think married people are happy.

I hope to lead by example.

Greg Johnson is managing editor for the Mat-Su Valley Frontiersman. He can be reached at greg.johnson@frontiersman.com or 352-2268.