Santa goes high tech

Casey Ressler-Resslin' Around

Candy canes were just too appealing to a 9-year-old boy who suffered through a shopping trip to Wal-Mart recently. At the checkout counter, his mother was trying to write a check after being in line for nearly 15 minutes, and he was busy tearing apart the candy cane display.

It was a perfect time for a quick lesson in Santa Claus technology.

"If you don't get over here right now, I'm calling Santa and telling him what you are doing. I'll do it," the mother threatened the boy, who was no doubt charged up on holiday candy and everything else 9-year-old boys are usally charged up on.

The threat was empty, the boy thought. There wasn't a phone anywhere in sight, and surely Santa would be so busy, just 13 days before Christmas, that he couldn't possibly come to the phone.

He never counted on Santa having a cell phone, though.

His mom produced a cell phone from her jacket pocket, and started dialing Santa's cell phone number -- which, evidently, every parent knows by heart -- to report on her son's tantrum in the Wal-Mart checkout line.

After a desperate plea to his mother not to complete the call, the boy snapped to attention like a Marine in boot camp. Like a statue, he stood next to his mother, not touching a single candy cane.

They could have been giving out free XBoxes and Nintendo GameCubes an aisle over, but the boy would not have wavered. If there's one thing you don't mess with, this boy knew, it's Santa Claus in December.

Santa's newfangled technology is a plus for parents. And I thank God that Santa didn't have a cell phone when I was growing up, because had he, there probably would have been less presents under the tree on Christmas morning.

But a cell phone is not the only technological advance they have made at the North Pole to aid Mr. Claus. I never realized Santa had a fax machine also, but that was confirmed last week by a co-worker's son.

The boy, who is 6, told his mother last weekend that they had to go to the office, immediately. When asked about the urgency , the boy's response was simple -- he had a new item he wanted to add to his Christmas list, and with only a week and a half to go before the big day, there was simply no way the letter would get to the North Pole in time.

He had to use the fax machine, he explained, and right now.

Instead of his mother's office, they went to a business that had a fax machine they could use. The boy wrote his letter by hand, and together, they faxed Santa Claus immediately.

Now, if you don't believe Santa Claus has a fax machine, you definitely won't believe what happened next -- after getting the fax, Santa faxed the boy back. Santa Claus knew the fax was already coming, and had a response ready.

Tradition indicates that he sees you when you're sleeping, and he knows when you're awake. But I never realized Santa also knows when you are preparing an fax, addressed to the North Pole.

Santa is making good use of the technology he has available.

He is keeping kids in line and answering their mail, whether it be of the electronic or handwritten varieties.

When he gets instant two-way text messaging on his cell phone and his Palm Pilot, it's all over for the kids who start acting up in Wal-Mart and other stores.

Casey Ressler (valleylife@frontiersman.com) is the Valley Life editor. He prefers to hand write his letter to Santa every year.