Saying goodbye to Moby

I'm taking a break from massaging my Newfoundland dog Moby's tummy.

Moby is 11 years old. I rescued him shortly after he arrived at a kennel in Chugiak from New Zealand in 2001. Moby is Mr. Independent. Although he has the company of two other Newfs, he prefers flying solo. Today on his walk he fell down nose-first with all fours flat and on his stomach - and he was stuck.

I had to pick him up from the belly. I'm massaging Moby because his stomach is distending due to inefficient digestion here at the end. Food doesn't process well and massaging helps him pass the gas, as well as process digested food. His heart/lungs are strained and weakened in his current condition. I'm just easing his discomfort a bit.

When I worked at Providence Alaska Medical Center in Spiritual Care in Anchorage from 1996 to 2006, I had patients in the Oncology Unit who'd say, "I didn't go to church much or pray much in my life, does God still love me?"

I'd share, "Our God loves us, knows us, forgives us and is always with us. God loves you."

Our four-legged creatures can't ask "does God love me?" so they look to us for God's love projected. We all seem to have less experience with the letting go part of living, so saying goodbye feels like the first time almost every time. I want to be with my "boy," Moby, here at the end and help make his goodbye days comfortable.

My Newfs are called "gentle giants" and have provided a lifetime of support through many types of human relationships. In 1989, Newfy Bentley sat proudly in a special education center in Cortland, N.Y., while a student with autism stroked his beautiful block head and said his first word, "nice!"

For the eight years that I had Newfy Bailey (from North Pole), he would see that I'd be wearing a cap and tap my leg with his nose on walks to prompt me, so he could get the hat and proudly carry it all the way home, head high and showing it off! Leaning against my legs when standing next to me or sitting on my feet are common behaviors for Newfoundland's. They've kept me warm snoring and sleeping in minus 20-degree RV trips up and down the Alaska Highway.

My life has been full of healthy relationships. I've seen some develop intimately and others serve as scaffolding for when I needed support for certain periods of personal growth, then they've gone away. Since my successful work in Spiritual Care at Providence, and with my constant inner work in prayer, I feel like a human in process with some good relationship and communication skills. With all that being said, one key element with developing human intimacy is creating a sense of reciprocity with others.

The give and take need not be 50-50 or 60-40, heck I'll even take 80-20 if that 20 percent gets us to a better place. However, the 80-20s tend to monologue, don't listen well and can be righteous in their judgment of others' ability to communicate effectively and maintain healthy relationships.

Really? Ironic.

Over the years, I've heard speeches and felt judgment from some (80/20s) about how people humanize their animals with the inference that doing so reflects a weakness in character. I propose it's actually quite the opposite. When you can project love without judgment to all God's creatures, including humans, then you're demonstrating an inclusive degree of intimacy that lifts you higher and closer to God.

So, the next time you're having a conversation with one of those weakly connected 80/20 humans, remember our "Moby's" over the years that gave us their 100 percent unconditional love. I will continue to say goodbye to Moby, rub his tummy, stroke his beautiful mane and call him "my boy" here at the end. When with Moby, I'm reminded of the good times when I leaned on him, and when he stayed with me through thick and thin, kept me warm, always stood close by and ... never said goodbye.

Paul Maguire is a Palmer resident and former professor at the University of Alaska Anchorage. He is the facilitator of the Center for Creating Peaceful Neighborhoods and advocates for eliminating bullying and fully, including all people in community.