Serve up the cake, the birds are on the way

Mat-Su Mouth

MOUTH WANTS DON TO MANAGE MONEY -- He's a whiz kid at MEA. Donald Zoerb, director of administration, discussed the risk of Chugach Electric Association's highly speculative financial derivative transactions that were mathematically flawed. Oh yes, and he said all this with a straight face, too, and without a dictionary or a cheat sheet.

The talented money manager tossed out economic strategies and retrospective investment advice. Refinancing explanations spilled from the natty expert's pores. The MOUTH is totally scared of really big numbers but was very impressed with this math guy.

GIDDY AND CENTERED -- In a Feb. 5 personal commentary, our tall Wasilla representative stated that he is in the giddy, wonderful, mental bliss known as a honeymoon where his mind concentrates on his wife and nothing else. We're all jealous. But despite the marriage buzz, Vic also tells us he is working harder than ever on constituent problems. Lots of whiners have been complaining about Vic. Give the newlywed guy a break. After all, he said that, "as a married man I can do a better job for my constituents because I'm more centered while no longer a bachelor."

NEARLY BIRD MONTH -- But until then buy heavy. The redpoll gang is back and big. Feed stores report dramatic sales of black oil sunflower seeds. Incredibly large flocks of redpolls and snow buntings have been seen on the Hay Flats near the mouth of Cottonwood Creek. An informed source thinks the flock was between 5,000 and 10,000 birds with 1-5 percent being snow buntings. Other bird news includes a Great Spotted Woodpecker seen and heard near Caswell Lakes. A boreal owl has been heard calling along the south end of Hayfield Road near Wasilla. There have also been reported scatterings of American robins and small flocks of Bohemian waxwings. Remember the old Valley saying, "When the snow buntings return to the Palmer Airport, winter's back is broken."

PLANNING COMMISSIONERS EAT CAKE -- Recently, veteran planning commissioners Dick Stoffel and Craig Savage were thanked for their years of service on the Mat-Su Borough Planning Commission. Their fancy commemorative plaques stated that as planning commissioners, they "helped to improve the quality of life for borough residents and to protect the public health and safety." Furthermore, planning commissioners strive "to balance the needs of individuals with the needs of the public." As he was given his nameplate, Mr. Savage said, "I have a lot of problems with the system but the people are good." Mr. Stoffel smiled his "Humble Stoffel Smile" and said laconically, "It's sure been a pleasure." Then the whole commission was fed cake. Normally, the volunteer appointment of being a borough planning commissioner is a thankless and time-consuming job. It requires lots of homework and dedication. It is neither a popularity contest nor a political-spin position. The MOUTH knows (from experience) that the planning commission is one of the more thoughtful bodies in the Valley. The MOUTH wishes both the departing commissioners and the existing commissioners well. Eat more cake. You deserve it.

THE MOUTH WONDERS:

Is it true that they're digging for treasure on the north side of the Valley Hotel?

Is it true that 3,200 trains pass through Wasilla annually?

Is it true that 12,770 vehicles cross the train tracks daily at the Knik-Goose Bay Road crossing?

Is it true that a newscaster evaluated our recent two earthquakes with the quote, "There was substantial minor damage."?

Is it true that 240 school buses cross eight at-grade railroad crossings each school day?

Is it true that there have been no school district snow days yet?

Is it true that the public can visit the Burchell observatory?

Is it true that two years' worth of overdue fines collected by Valley libraries equals $18,000?

Is it true that the Palmer library received a $700 grant from Wal-Mart?

Is it true that only 30 percent of all 911 Valley emergency calls are true emergencies?

Barbara Hunt is a local writer and listener. The Mat-Su MOUTH is in its 6th year and is printed twice a month, more or less, depending on the Valley buzz. The MOUTH may be reached at e-mail address bhunt@alaska.net. MOUTH contributions and submittals may be dropped off, mailed or faxed to the MOUTH c/o THE FRONTIERSMAN. Good taste is required and confidentiality will be respected.