Shut up and let the lady sing

Reslin' Around, by Frak Ameduri

What ever happened to decorum? When did common courtesy go out of style? Is there any behavior that isn't acceptable these days? Those questions ran through my mind Tuesday night at a Dayna Kurtz concert at Vagabond Blues. Kurtz had traveled here from New Jersey, and we'd already seen her on Valentine's night when she opened for Kelley Jo Phelps. We were excited about the Vagabond Blues show because it would be a more intimate environment.

We settled down into our seats and enjoyed the opening set by Anne Pence. It wasn't until Kurtz began playing that we noticed the couple in front of us. I'm pretty sure they were from Anchorage -- they were wearing ski clothes that were designed for jazz concerts rather than the trail. There were a lot of visible labels that roughly translated to, "We're too sexy for Dayna Kurtz, soooo sexy it hurts." That was the amusing thing about the Wedontskis.

The not so amusing thing was that they were convinced that the show was about them, and that Dayna Kurtz was just an excuse for the rest of us to come out and watch the Wedontskis be cool. They spent a lot of time leaning close to one another and not whispering in each other's ears. I was wondering, if you're going to talk that loud, why not sit across the room from one another and communicate by bullhorn? They were mostly commenting about the lyrics and the guitar playing, and how sweet it was that Dayna Kurtz came all the way from New Jersey just to play for them, and wasn't it too bad all these weird Valley people had to show up, too.

They couldn't stop leaning in front of me and talking like that. What was worse, was that Mr. Wedontski wasn't satisfied talking to Mrs. Wedontski. He decided that Dayna Kurtz couldn't get through the performance without his help, so he helped her by commenting on almost everything she said between songs. He wasn't nearly as amusing as he thought. That's when things started to be the opposite of cute. It didn't occur to him that she may have rehearsed the performance. It definitely didn't occur to him that the rest of us didn't get all dressed up in clean blue jeans to hear him have a conversation with someone who'd rather be singing.

I don't really blame the Wedontskis, per se. Their behavior was tame compared to a lot of things people do in public these days. Why is that? Why are we not embarrassed to be uncouth anymore?

Why is it that people in public places insist on having cell phone conversations at the top of their lungs? And why can't they at least talk about something interesting?

"Hello. Oh, hey. I was just trying to call you on my way to the market, but I had to swerve to miss a school bus and ran over a phone booth, so I had to hang up. It's getting so you can't drive on the sidewalk anymore.

"What am I doing now? I'm in the cereal aisle. Hey! Cap'n Crunch has adventure berries now! I'm gettin' some of those. Now I'm heading over to the sandwich meats. I'm almost out of bologna, and you know I'm no good without bologna …" and on and on.

So why do we do those things? I think those crazy talk TV programs and the "reality" shows are two big reasons. There's nothing people won't do in front of a national audience anymore, and we've come to think of trashy behavior as entertainment. We think people who lie to get into bed with strangers are movie stars, and we think two women who have a fist fight over a drug-dealing pimp with six illegitimate kids have achieved some level of fame. It seems Americans live their lives as though we're on camera all the time, and the world is our audience. Like spoiled children, starved for attention, we misbehave as loud as we can. "Hey! Look at me, I'm more obnoxious than that guy bashing the quarters out of the snack machine over there! I'm having a shouting match, complete with curse words, with my wife right here in the Valentine's aisle! Now if that doesn't call for applause, what does?"

At least when it's on television you can switch it off or change the channel. At Vagabond Blues, you're reduced to leaving footprints on the back of Mr. Wedontski's Killy Earth jacket. Not that I'd ever do anything so lacking in decorum …

Frank Ameduri forgot to mention that Dayna Kurtz is an amazing singer, songwriter