SPECTRUM: Our Grinch who stole Christmas

Nationally, Americans received good news for Christmas. The federal tax cuts will put Americans back to work, grow business, create more jobs and restore the middle class’s economic status as the strongest and most capable workforce in the world. Business creates jobs, not government and this tax bill was the best Christmas present America could receive from Congress and the President. President Trump did what our congressional delegation and every governor since ANILCA was passed have failed to do, open ANWR for oil and gas exploration and development. President Trump is keeping his promises.

Our Grinch governor, however, is running for reelection.

The Grinch governor who stole 50 percent of our PFDs has not given up on further penalizing Alaskan Whoz by increasing taxes to maintain a bloated and inefficient government. Our Grinch governor graduated from the Leftist school of Marxist economic policy. His Master’s thesis was “How to destroy an economy that is already in a recession from declining oil revenues.”

Our Grinch governor and his demonic Left handed red gremlins still want an income tax, increased fuel taxes and more taxes on resource development. “More government! More taxes! Let the peasants eat . . . snow! The government pogues must be maintained as they are accustomed! No mining, no oil, no gas, no timber, just fish and tourists! Cut your Christmas budgets, not the trees! The Whoz in the private sector can work harder for less, or just starve! Don’t you love Christmas!”, they cry together in a demonic chorus to the tune of Silent Night.

“Bah, humbug!,” cries our Grinch gov. “Whoz children can do with less! They don’t need clothes without holes, or boots. Cold? They don’t know what cold is! Why, I walked uphill 40 miles to school and back in 10ft of snow in -70F weather and 100 mile an hour winds barefoot in my cutoffs shorts and a t-shirt when I was a kid in Big Delta,” huffed the Grinch governor.

To show his expertise in public safety, our Grinch governor supported and signed SB91 that let criminals out of jail early and increased crime across the board causing death, injury and economic loss to many of Whoz out there, all so the Grinch governor could believe he saved the state money to better feed his bloated state workforce. The Grinch governor worked hard to appease his Left handed red gremlins by showing that he supported crime and the criminal by ignoring the plight of those victimized by crime. After all, he reasoned, criminals are just misunderstood miscreant Whoz who suffer from socio-economic depravity disease, which means that they believe that what is yours is theirs.

The Grinch Governor salivated at the prospects of more oil flowing down TAPS from ANWR with dreams of an even bigger, bloated, inefficient government filled with overpaid, underworked state pogues who are so valuable that they cannot suffer pay cuts or personnel reductions. “Why, only the lowly Whoz of the private sector should lose their jobs, suffer pay cuts, reduced hours, and have less of a Christmas, including less food! Wait! Oil? Isn’t oil evil, gotta do something about that,” mused our Grinch governor.

A smaller, private sector workforce and business sector was this Grinch governor’s greatest achievement to date, aside from the increase in crime. His Left handed red gremlins and Left handed green gremlins would surely work hard to prevent ANWR’s oil from reaching TAPS.

“If that doesn’t work, let more criminals out upon the populace! Find that drunk guy who put a hole in the TAPS with a .338 Win mag, maybe he can do it again! Uh, hmmm, wait, never mind. We need the oil to pay the pogues and to keep the Left handed red and green gremlins appeased,” said our Grinch governor.

“I need something to take the Whoz’s minds off their misery while I take more from them. Wait, this is insidious! Might cause some problems, even be said to be racist, insensitive and something phobic!,” exclaimed our Grinch governor. “Maybe, I should have Mrs. Grinch governor put on her red dress again and try to teach Muslims to sing Christmas carols . . . oh, boy, that went over well!,” smiled the Grinch governor as he grabbed his red phone to call the House and Senate Left handed red gremlins to announce his new economic plan to destroy Alaska’s economy, in spite of the Trump Administration’s tax bill.

We can do better than this Grinch governor. Please remember the 3 women of the Army National Guard who did not receive justice from Gov. Bill Walker as promised, and so many more Alaskans affected by the mistake that was SB91.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Larry Wood is a 63-year resident living on Lazy Mountain