SPECTRUM: Promises broken and betrayed

I have been betrayed by the State of Alaska. This is not because of family upheaval or political indignation and unrest. This is because of saga of the loose orange snake.

Over the last three weeks we have lived through a reptilian trauma...a time of great concern where a huge snake was on the move. We were warned to be on the lookout. Supposedly it was slithering around in Meadow Lakes and every day brought yet another Snake Alert.

Yet we have always been told by the experts, lo we were promised, that there ARE NO SNAKES IN ALASKA. But as this world turns upside down in every sector, so did Alaska’s snake status. Apparently people import these creatures for fun and enjoyment and then lose them. This is a broken covenant, in my opinion. We were promised there were NO SNAKES.

There were pictures in the media. Some of us obsessively studied the photos. The Snake was bright orange and about the size of a firehose, or maybe larger. The snake was the first thing I thought about in the morning. And the last thing at night.

The officials said it was a 17 foot, 100 pound python. But you know how government statistics are sometimes inaccurate. So as I pondered, it became maybe 100 foot long and 170 pounds.

Every time I thought about it, it enlarged, engorged and expanded—stretching from Meadowlakes to the Butte, inhaling small rabbits, adult chiuahuas and infant moose.

With deliberative caution, I squished towels under door frames to set a snake barrier. And then we heard how the snake had left its’ snake shed in a neighbor’s RV. Oh geez. Can the nightmare get any worse?

Finally, after 10 days of discussions and great speculation, Mr. Wayward Snake quietly reappeared in it’s designated home. It just showed up, with no apologies. “Hey, I’m back. Feed me a 25 pound rabbit, please.” Perhaps it was not a coincidence that a neighboring dog disappeared during that time.

I am relieved it is safe. But it’s clever escape has caused me to doubt the safety of our Alaska world. I can deal with moose, earthquakes, or avalanches but please folks, keep your snakes at home.