Stop and smell the fireweed: Love one another

This past year my great Newfoundland dog, Moby, passed away, and I felt very connected to the human loss in the many shootings and deaths of innocents nationally.

I also experienced some loss of connection with some whom I love. I’ve been focused on saying the Rosary and simple readings, including quotes and stories from the Bible, as well as re-reading “Tuesday’s with Morrie” by Mitch Album. These parting thoughts are offered after a summer at my home on Bradley Lake and bicycling the Valley. I feel like I should listen to and comment on the impact of loss of life and relationship this past year as personal growth opportunities. A popular spiritual blog references the Bible with how we process feelings of loss and separation:

“When was the last time you chose prayer over protest, fasting over fussing, or waiting over rushing?

“The Lord is ready to show you the way and take on your burdens. There is no need to rush ahead and figure it out. God is there and he asks you to rest in him, allowing him to take your cup from you.”

In Deuteronomy 31:8, it says: “Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you.”

In “Tuesdays with Morrie,” Morrie, in his last days, comments on many topics, including about being present to one another and “how love goes on” after death. On page 136, Morrie addresses our weakness as a people to listen carefully to each other (and put our individual agenda’s aside) in his comments to friend, Mitch:

“Part of the problem, Mitch, is that everyone is in such a hurry. People haven’t found meaning in their lives, so they’re running all the time looking for it. They think the next car, the next house and the next job. Then they find those things are empty, too, and they keep running.

“I believe in being fully present. That means you should ‘be with’ the person you’re with. When I’m talking to you now, Mitch, I try to keep focused only on what is going on between us. I am not thinking about something we said last week. I’m not thinking of what’s coming up this Friday. I’m not thinking about doing another interview, or about what medications I’m taking. I’m talking to you, I am thinking about you.”

When we slow down and listen to each other, we store memories remembered long after we are gone. A dying Morrie says to a visiting Mitch: “Do you ever hear my voice sometimes when you’re back home? When you’re all alone. Maybe on the plane? Maybe in your car?”

Mitch says, “Yes.”

Morrie finishes the thought, “Then, you will not forget me after I’m gone. Think of my voice and I’ll be there.”

My wish is for us to stop, or at least slow down, and smell the proverbial flowers in our relationships with all God’s creatures. The words, the body language, the emotions, the bark, the meow, the shiver, the silence, the anxiety, the affirmation — be there for each other. The memories we accumulate will keep our loved ones with us forever. Put the screen and hoodie down, pull the earplugs out, look into the eyes of others and listen, really listen.

Morrie shared that his headstone would read “A teacher to the last.” As our summer fireweed creeps up and tops the stem, and as I prepare to return as a professor at Minnesota State near Fargo for the next school year, I’d like to be thought of as the teacher who stopped to smell the Fireweed and loved others by being present to their unique beauty and aroma. Let’s bask in the late-night light and enjoy each other in the remaining long days of summer.

Paul Maguire is a Palmer resident and former professor at the University of Alaska Anchorage. He is the facilitator of the Center for Creating Peaceful Neighborhoods, and advocates for eliminating bullying and fully including all people in community.