Suicide survivors remember loved ones, raise awareness

PALMER — Clutching a rainbow of beaded strands high above her head, Anna Dunks’ fist shakes from emotion.

The red beads she holds are for a partner lost to suicide. The purple beads are for former family babysitter Christina who killed herself when she was only 13.

“I’ve lived in the Valley for 25 years and it just seems to be everywhere,” Dunks said during the Out of the Darkness walk Saturday in Palmer.

Her daughter, Palmer High School sophomore Mariah Miller, holds silver beads for her brother Chris Scott Dombroski who took his life April 13, 2014, after serving four years in Afghanistan.

Look around, Laura Brekke said during the Honor Bead Ceremony. Green beads represent people who struggle or have struggled personally with suicide.

“Thank you for acknowledging yourself and know that we are here to support, advocate and continue research to improve our understanding of mental health,” she said.

Miller said she’s part of this group. Since her brother — she considered him her brother — took his life she’s contemplated suicide as an escape from her own feelings of anger, pain and confusion.

“Until you feel it, you don’t understand,” the teen said.

Gold beads signify a parent lost to suicide. Strands of white beads represent children. Orange is for lost siblings. Purple beads represent the loss of a friend or relative.

Red, white and blue beads signify support of the military. Teal beads show support for family and friends who struggle with suicide. And blue beads represent the commitment to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, foundation volunteer Brekke said.

Annette Cannon spoke at the event as a survivor.

“April 26, 1990, was the worst day of my life,” she told the crowd gathered at the Palmer Pavilion. “It’s the day my Dad died.”

It’s been 25 years since he took his own life, but Cannon’s voice still breaks as she fights back her emotions to share her story.

“I didn’t know my heart could feel such pain,” she said.

The grief her family experienced was beyond anything she had known, Cannon said. She recalled her mom crying so much that she resorted to a small towel instead of tissue to dry in tears.

“It takes effort to breath and try to get back to normal things,” she said.

It was at least three years before she remembers beginning to feel joy again and being OK with being happy, she said.

She was grateful for the counseling help she received to process her father’s loss, Cannon said.

“I got help in the specific way that I needed,” she said. “There are resources. There is hope.”

Out of the Darkness is to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention as the Relay for Life is to the American Cancer Society, according to Dennis Lasley, chairman of the Alaska chapter foundation.

People sign up in teams, or individually, collect donations and than come together to honor and remember those lost during the Out of the Darkness walks, he said. Ultimately, both events are fundraisers, Lasley said.

Anchorage has hosted an Out of the Darkness walk for the past five years. Fairbanks has organized a walked for four years and Soldonta has hosted the event two years, he said.

The goal is to establish the walk as an annual Valley event, Lasley said.

The Siknik team was the top fundraisers during the inaugural Valley event, raising $1,045 for suicide prevention.

Alaska Police and Fireman’s Ministries and You Are Not Alone also partnered with the suicide prevention foundation to organize the local event, Lasley said.

For more information, visit afsp.org.

Contact Heather A. Resz at 352-2268 or heather.resz@frontiersman.com.