That time of year

It’s getting to be that time of year. I was thinking about this topic and realized this seventeen-year-old column is as true today as when I originally wrote it. Rather than try to embellish it for reuse, I thought I’d just resubmit it for your reading enjoyment. I don’t think I could do any better than what is written here anyway. And, while I now have the equipment, the costs are still relevant. Enjoy!

This is an awfully expensive and dangerous time of the year for me. You’re probably thinking I’m talking expensive because the salmon fishing season will be here shortly, and new rods and reels are pricey. So are the new “miracle” fishing lines and a Flatfish or a Mag Wart lure, at $4 to $6 apiece, isn’t exactly cheap either.

Or perhaps you think my reference to expensive is aimed at the costs associated with operating and maintaining a riverboat. I talked last week about some of the upgrades I’m making to my boat this coming season.

By dangerous, you probably assume I’m referring to a spring bear hunt and the possible situations one can get into stalking a grizzly or even baiting a black bear. Perhaps you think I might be concerned about some of the potential perils of early-season, low-water riverboating.

If that is what you think, you’re wrong. This is a particularly expensive and dangerous time for me because it is getting to be GARDENING SEASON.

Last year in this column, I talked about reclaiming our garden area from the wild vegetation that had creeped in over the past few years. I paid a bundle for a rototiller large enough to churn up the root infested soil. I spent several days constructing a border around the vegetable garden area with logs and covering a small section near the end with wood chips to make an area for my wife’s various berry bushes.

I also managed to rototill a couple of my wife’s favorite lilacs in the process of re-clearing the area. I thought they were dead from the way they looked. How was I supposed to know?

You begin to see not only the expense, but the danger too. Do you have any idea how mad a woman can get when she finds out you destroyed her favorite perennial plants? I do.

Once I finally got the “Great Lilac Massacre” smoothed over a little bit, I was off to the greenhouses looking for some appropriate bushes to replace some of the other stuff I had also, innocently, rototilled into the Afterlife. They don’t exactly give that stuff away either.

Between the rototiller, the wood chips, the new bushes, and I forget what all else, trust me, I was thinking how cheap salmon fishing really is in comparison.

After the vegetable garden was planted, it rapidly became apparent to me that the residual weeds were doing far better than any seeds we had planted. Even running the rototiller between the planted rows each week seemed to do little to slow the weeds’ attempted return and takeover. I knew I had to use drastic measures – weed killer!

My life once again came under serious threat when I first mentioned that approach. My wife was concerned that one or more of our three dogs might be affected, since they liked to “play” in the garden area and might, somehow, ingest some of the herbicide. I tried to explain that both the directions on the bottle and the guy over at the cooperative extension said the weed killer was safe to use around pets if the specific product’s directions were closely followed.

Do you know how mad a woman can get when she thinks you’re trying to kill her beloved pets? I do. I didn’t use any weed killer that year.

The weeds ended up basically winning the battle. The only good thing about that is my wife now sees the need to use the weed killer. I’ve been watching the new growth so I can spray down the whole area once the weeds have grown enough to properly absorb the herbicide and, hopefully, die. The garden will need to set dormant for a week or two after the treatment to allow the weed killer to bind with the soil enough that we can replant with the seeds.

From my perspective, the Farmer’s Market is my best option. Then I can spend my time and money on the really cheap and safe stuff like salmon fishing, river running and bear hunting.