The healing power of telling my story

Some friends and family have asked me why I write. It is a little complicated, but I will try to explain. I write as a form of therapy in dealing with my case of post-traumatic stress disorder, a little “gift,” so to speak, from my time in the war in Iraq. This has seemed a little odd to those who know me well because they know me not only as old soldier, but as an artist, too. Anything trippy has been fair game for my pen and ink for decades. So why writing?

Well, after my time in Iraq the signs of post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD, began to make themselves known, things like hyperawareness, lack of sleep, nightmares, flashbacks and jumping or taking cover when a loud concussive boom goes off near me. That, by the way, is why I’m no fan of fireworks. I also get the shakes. And that is the reason why I write. You see, my hands shook nearly all the time over the years after Iraq. It’s hard to control a drawing pen or pencil when the left hand is shaking like a leaf, let alone control a wrench working on Humvees at the shop at Fort Richardson. A wrench I could deal with but not a curved line or shading in a subject on paper with a fine-tipped pen of 005 or .20 mm. That takes a steady hand to control.

And when I retired from the Army and left the shop for health reasons, those side effects increased. I needed a new creative focus to combat it. I found it in writing comments and short stories on social media sites like Facebook. It seemed like I had a knack for creative writing from my computer keyboard. Another plus in favor was my obsession for collecting and reading books from science fact to science fiction and everything in between with the exception of romance novels. (Hey, you’ve got to draw the line somewhere.)

I have amassed a collection of well more than 3,000 books. Sad to say most are in storage back in Seattle. But I am well insulated with about 700 of my little friends in my home here.

So I began to have this dream of becoming a writer. I just took it in little steps. And when some of my comments on the Frontiersman website came to the attention of editor Heather Resz, she asked me to be a columnist. That dream turned into a passion and a reality.

It also opened a new door and a new path to take in life’s journey, writing about subjects like veterans’ issues and PTSD starting with my own case. It made for a great form of therapy to confront that curse head on. Making it public was much harder to do. But in doing so I believe I have helped others to speak out about their “curses” from war. It became another way to serve.

Some of the local issues and events I have written on have taught me about the true meaning of community. The valley and the towns within are far more than points and places on a map. It is the people who live here that make the community alive.

This is a new experience for me. As I continue to write my stories and state my opinions and viewpoints I learn more and more about the meaning of community. And the people I have met along the way have taught me a lot.

Does everyone agree with my views? Good heavens no! That is the whole point of writing opinion pieces — to get people talking, get them to agree or disagree and bring the issue at hand out into the open. I’m just a voice in print and now on the radio, — a direct result of my articles — speaking out on subjects and issues I care about and wish to share my views. So writing has become not only therapy but a means to creatively express myself and to serve the community in my own small way.

Why do I write? I write to bring purpose and some healing to my life. I write to speak out on what I feel is right. I write to serve this community. This small slice of Alaska — the Mat-Su Valley — my home.

Wasilla resident Daniel D. Grota retired from the U.S. Army after more than 21 years of service.