The joys of marriage

My wife is one of the great joys in my life. Chris was born in Swaziland at a remote mission station. At birth she weighed a little over 4 pounds. The doctor told her parents, “I can’t do anything for her. You might as well take her home. She will either live or die.” Thankfully, she lived! Her father spoke Zulu before he spoke English. She was raised in South Africa. Most homes in South Africa do not have heat. She was raised in a warm climate with lots of good weather. Yet, she’s lived with me in Alaska for 20 years!

Marriage is very good. Marriage demonstrates the goodness of God. Marriage is not a social construct. It did not originate in the mind of man but in the mind of God. Any attack upon marriage is a direct attack upon God. Strong families are the bedrock of any great nation. As the family goes, so goes the nation. Marriage is important to God. Jesus performed His first miracle at a wedding.

Every time I perform a wedding it is a great privilege. Every wedding is the birth of a new family. Why did God design marriage? The Bible tells us there are three great purposes for marriage.

The first purpose of marriage is procreation. When Noah left the ark God made a covenant with him. God, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth (Genesis 9:6).” This command is still in effect! Psalm 127:3-5 says, “Behold, children are a gift of the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one’s youth. How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.”I’m very thankful for our four children. I cannot imagine life without them.

Marriage is the primary means of passing the truth from one generation to the next. God desires godly children (Malachi 2:15). Raising children is a lot of hard work! It is best done with two people working together. Marriage is to be the laboratory where Christian principles are modeled and lived.

The second purpose of marriage is pleasure. God designed intimacy in marriage. Genesis 2:24 reads, “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.” One entire Book in the Bible is devoted to the physical relationship in marriage. The Song of Solomon is not an allegory. It is not about Jesus’ love for the church. It is about the physical relationship in marriage. Intimacy demands the commitment of marriage.

The third and primary purpose of marriage is to picture the gospel. A godly marriage proclaims the gospel. In Ephesians 5 the apostle Paul focused on marriage. Verse 32 says, “This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church.” Marriage is designed to illustrate the gospel. Paul wrote Ephesians from a prison cell in Rome. Paul did not think, “I need something to illustrate the gospel. What can I use? I know…. marriage.” No. God designed marriage to illustrate the gospel.

Husbands are to play the role of Jesus. Wives are to represent the church. As men we are commanded to love our wives as Jesus loved the church. Verse 25 reads, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her.” Jesus left heaven and died on the cross for His church. Jesus came not to be served but to serve and to give His life a ransom for many. Jesus was rich and became poor. Jesus laid down His life in order to gain our salvation. We as husbands are to love our wives as Jesus loved the church. We are to sacrificially love our wives.

Husbands are also commanded to love their wives as they love their own bodies. Ephesians 5:28-29 commands, “So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it…” When our bodies are hungry, we feed them. When our bodies are cold, we clothe them. Whatever our body needs, we provide. In the same way, a husband is to love his wife. Whatever our wives need, we are to provide.

The word cherish in verse 25 means “to warm with body heat.” It’s a beautiful picture of the way husbands are to love their wives.

Wives are called to play the role of the church. A wife is to follow her husband. Verse 22 reads, “Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord.” As the church follows the Lord Jesus, so wives are to follow their husbands. God desires husbands to love their wives in a supernatural way. Our love is to be so caring, so sacrificial, so gentle that others ask, “Wow! Your love for your wife is amazing. Why do you love her so much?” Our answer must be, “I love her as Jesus loved the church.” A wife is to follow (and even submit!) to her husband in such an amazing way that people ask, “How can you love him like that?” The right answer is, “I love and follow my husband as the church follows Jesus Christ.”

Let’s get married. Let’s stay married. Let’s model a high view of marriage. Let’s love our spouses in a supernatural, sacrificial way and in so doing proclaim the gospel!

Ethan Hansen is the pastor of Faith Bible Fellowship in Big Lake.