The love of flawed fathers

Recently a favorite cousin and his wife visited Alaska and we had a long dinner conversation. We talked a lot about our families. We have been blessed by our families. They were all devout church related people of humble origins. We laughed about our Southeast Missouri roots and the family transition from genuine hillbillies to upper middle class professionals. We now populate the nation from coast to coast with teachers, nurses, ministers, university professors, doctors, lawyers, farmers, cattle ranchers and successful businessmen.

We talked a lot about our fathers and grandfather. Our family structures were clearly male dominated and strongly chauvinistic. The male dominance that was practiced was a mixture of the social structures of the Bible and dominant American customs. According to this social framework, the Bible leaves no place for female rule. In the Christian Trinity, the first two persons are Father and Son. Jesus spoke of his Heavenly Father but nary a word about a feminine participation in the structure of the Holy. With this understanding, the men in our families ruled by divine right. Or so they believed.

My cousin and I are now advanced in age and can be a bit more objective in evaluating the family experience. Our fathers and grandfather were all flawed men, working off of a flawed social model. But let It be said, they loved their families. They worked hard to provide for their families in spite of their flawed understandings.

My cousin and I are a part of a transitional generation. Women have rightfully demanded partnership and equality. They have rewritten Christian theology. They have challenged the male chauvinism of the Bible. They are changing the structures of politics, the business world and the leadership structures of our communities. We are engaged in an enormous social, cultural and religious transition.

In the current presidential election, I suspect that the greatest underlying argument is about the centuries old male dominance and the emerging female leadership. The 2016 election can be seen as a reflection of what is taking place in this unique American power struggle. I believe the struggle will play out and the standard of equality for all will prevail.

I am especially interested in how this struggle between American male and female will play out in the world of religion. How will this struggle for equality work out in Christian churches?

The first big step is the secularization of the study of religion. The highest levels of theological/Bible education have left religious institutions and made their way to secular state universities. These institutions have no commitments to creeds or confessions. They have no commitment to any religion in particular. They are educating American young people into a different way of understanding and acting.

In reality, this transition has already taken place. Millennials are a different kind of citizen. Male dominance is no longer an acceptable understanding of the way things ought to be. Christianity will be heavily impacted.

Male domination has historically been written into Christianity. The Bible is a collection of writings that were composed entirely under male domination. The Trinity makes no sense to the new breed of Christians. Christian creeds and confessions of faith have been written in the language of male domination. This cannot continue to be the standards of Christian belief.

The music of the Christian churches will need to have almost an entire rewrite. Even now the latest hymnals of the churches carry inclusive language to fit the new social structures.

The changes that have already taken place and the changes that will be coming are a shock to the male ego of the Western world. Just now electing a female president of the United States is very difficult for many men. The coming changes in the life and language of the Christian churches will be even more difficult.

When thinking about our changing world, our fathers and grandfathers seem autocratic, unbending and rigid. And so they were. My cousin and I do not decry the changes that have taken place and are inevitably coming. We are both married to very bright, educated professional women. We have learned the lessons of the coming new age. To be critical of our fathers and grandfathers is unfair. The days of male domination will give way to a new age of partnerships. This is the new reality.

During our Fathers’ Day celebrations, criticism of our roots is not helpful. I suggest that the time of grace is at hand. We may not have appreciated our father’s understandings and ways, but I suspect they did the very best that they could. They loved us, fed us, taught us to work and play, and gave us opportunity. I am thankful for my Dad’s love and caring.

The End

The Rev. Howard Bess is a retired American Baptist minister, who lives in Palmer, Alaska. His email address is hdbss@mtaonline.net.