The power of forgiveness

Raise your hand if you have found yourself upset, confused, or angry; only to find out later that after you learned more about a situation, you felt a little sheepish or guilty. Maybe, even a little embarrassed with your reaction. Often, we jump to conclusions with limited or minimal information and we use our imaginations to fill in the gaps. Many times it works, but at times we make a mistake and in theory we should own it.

Several years ago, during my son’s early teenage years, he and grandma were teasing each other pretty severely in the kitchen. Grandpa came in and caught a small part of the conversation and he became very upset and really let my son have it. Grandma quickly came to my son’s defense, but for the moment, grandpa was on a roll and would not be stopped and he said his peace and laid down the law. My son felt awful and confused along with some sadness as he and grandma were just having some early morning fun. He left the kitchen and went outside. Grandma went to find Grandpa. A few minutes later I saw grandpa come back into the kitchen looking for my son, saw him outside and went to him. They talked for a few minutes and we saw them hug and come in laughing.

When I asked my son what had happened, he said grandpa apologized and all was well. As the years passed, that experience with Grandpa was a defining moment for my son. In his eyes, Grandpa was a superhero. Grandpa ran, road bikes, loved camping and the outdoors and was game for almost any adventure. If this man, who he felt could do no wrong, could ask for forgiveness, then he might be able to do the same.

In our family and at church we had talked about the steps of forgiveness many times. As imperfect parents, we had apologized to our son on several occasions. He remembers very little of those teaching moments, but this exchange with Grandpa was a different story. My son applied that lesson as he grew. I don’t know why that moment felt like such a defining moment for him, but I am thankful for it. Life’s lessons come at all sorts of unexpected times.

KJV John chapter 8 recounts the story of a woman caught in the act of adultery (verse 4). The scribes and Pharisees brought her before Christ, hoping to catch him in a moral dilemma since the law of Moses commanded that she should be stoned (verse 5).

I wonder how that woman felt. We do not know the specific circumstances of her situation but being brought to the Temple for an expected stoning by angry and powerful men would be terrifying.

Christ responded in this heated moment with calm and compassion, saying, “He that is without sin among you, let him cast a stone at her” (verse 7). Everyone left as their own conscience got the best of them. Then Christ in verses 10-11 said “Woman, where are those thine accusers? Hath no man condemned thee? She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go and sin no more.”

In that moment of great vulnerability, when everyone had left, Christ stayed with this woman, gave her peace and comfort, and forgave her. He met her at her level and encouraged her to be the better version of herself through forgiveness.

Sometimes the most powerful words we can say to others is, “I’m sorry.” I know that at times I have struggled with them as my pride and anger override what my heart is trying to say, especially to those who mean the most to me. I hope that as we spend time with others and stretch out our hands this summer, that we might be like Christ, quick to forgive others of their faults and find the power, strength, and comfort in the atonement of Jesus Christ.

Dr. John Boston is a father, husband, grandfather, local physician, member of the Mat-Su Board of Trustees and Colonel in the Alaska Air National Guard. He believes in Christ and is a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.