The range of emotions for the first-time hunter

I read an article recently that struck a chord with me about the meaning of hunting. The focus of the story was a lady who had never hunted before. She didn’t object to hunting; she just had never done it and wasn’t sure she could actually kill an animal. The story explained her feelings and thoughts on the subject of hunting and her first successful taking of a life to feed her family.

The story was told from the lady’s perspective and, I think, captured the essence of the emotional effects a successful hunt can have on a first-time hunter. I’ll relate a similar story but mine will be from an observer’s perspective.

My wife, Debby, and I were living remote on Afognak Island and working for Fish and Game. We got into Kodiak maybe three times a year and usually got our groceries via the “bush order” process. We would order chicken and pork but almost never bought beef because of the abundant numbers of Sitka Blacktail deer available during the hunting season.

During the first couple of years, I did all the harvesting of deer for our household. The limit, then, was six deer per year which, along with the salmon we would catch, usually saw us through to the next hunting season. Debby accompanied me on several hunts each season, I think, because she enjoyed the hiking, viewing the scenery, and watching the various critters we would encounter, plus spending time together. I had asked if she wanted to hunt and she always politely declined. She was uncomfortable with the idea of killing an animal.

Debby never had a problem with me killing a deer. She was always ready to help with the field dressing and getting the carcass back to the hatchery. Debby was equally involved in the processing of the meat and usually did most of the wrapping and labeling of the steaks, roasts, and burger.

The next year, she asked if she could try hunting too. I asked what had changed her mind. Debby answered that since she was enjoying the benefits of eating some excellent tasting meat, she felt she should contribute beyond just dealing with the animal after it was down on the ground. I was honestly thrilled to hear her express this change in attitude.

I didn’t have a rifle I felt would work for her since she didn’t have a lot of experience shooting “high-powered” firearms at that time. I had a Savage combination over-and-under firearm with a 20 gauge barrel mounted under a 22 long-rifle barrel. I had mounted a receiver (peep) sight on it for the 22 barrel but we adjusted the sight to hit dead on at about 50 yards with 20 gauge rifled slugs. She started practicing her shooting to learn to deal with that level of recoil and to familiarize herself with the sights and the firearm itself.

The day came when we went hunting together. We worked our way from the hatchery up alongside the creek and toward the edge of Big Kitoi Lake. I wanted to check a specific area on the other side of the creek, so we split up and Debby continued the opposite direction along the lake’s edge. Not too long after, I heard the shot.

I hunted back in the direction where Debby had been hunting and found her beside a young buck laying dead near the top of a small rise. She had made a perfect shot on a standing deer which she had been watching. The rifled slug had dropped the deer almost in its tracks.

Debby was crying.

When she regained her composure, I asked what had happened. Her reply reflected the sorrow any true hunter feels at the taking of a life. She had been admiring the beauty of the animal and felt bad for having taken its life. Yet she also felt a pride and happiness at having significantly contributed to our winter meat supply. Joy, sorrow, happiness, regret, gratitude, respect, and a myriad of other emotions were all flowing over her at that moment.

I had tried to explain this emotional tidal wave of hunting to her previously, but it’s something you have to experience to fully understand and appreciate. Debby now knew exactly what I had been talking about.

I bought Debby her own rifle and over the next few years, she added five or six more deer to the larder. While not hardcore, she still occasionally asks to go on day hunts for moose.