The Razor's Edge

It's a man's world

August 7, 2007

By Greg Johnson

At no other time in human history have we witnessed a century that has so radically changed the world like the 20th century has.

We've seen world wars, revolutions, the formation and demise of nations and the proliferation of worldwide trade. In the later decades of the century, incredible breakthroughs in computer technology and the Internet have already changed our lives in ways previously considered fiction.

So what are the greatest discoveries, inventions and breakthroughs of the past 100 years? Is it our amazing technology? What about breakthroughs in medicine? Putting people in space?

Depends on who you ask. Women can point to getting the right to vote and beginning to close the gender gap in the workplace as significant happenings, and they are. But the male brain is more simple. It doesn't take a lot to change our lives.

Ask a man what the greatest discoveries of the past 100 years have been. Maybe he'll give you the official:

A Man's Top 10

Greatest Discoveries of the 20th Century

10. Power tools. What a concept! Actually, adding electricity to just about any appliance seems a good idea to most men (like the electric razor).

9. String bikini. Also very important. Most men won't be able to tell you who invented the thing, only that the person was a genius.

8. Convenience stores. Beer, chips, candy, nail clippers, hot dogs, nachos - all in one place. If it were allowed, men would live in convenience stores.

7. ESPN. Any televised sports, actually. Included here is Monday Night Football, Thursday Night Football, Wednesday Night Baseball, Sunday football telecasts - anything with a ball, puck or net.

6. Pizza delivery. Almost the ultimate for the lazy male.

5. Four-wheel drive.

4. The reclining chair. This makes Nos. 6 and 7 worthwhile.

3. Tie. Beer in cans and the screw-top beer bottle. Anything that makes it easier to get to the beer.

2. Viagra. At least that's what Rafael Palmero and Bob Dole keep telling me.

1. Remote control. I read somewhere recently that more than half of men in America say the remote control has "greatly increased" the quality of their lives. I believe it.

What's in the future for men in the next 100 years? Who knows?

But for my money, I'm hoping for an implanted computer chip in my brain that allows me with just a thought to power up my tools, give me pictures of women in string bikinis, place an order at the convenience store (the pizza guy can pick it up on his way over), surf all the televised sports, recline my chair, release a dose of Viagra and change channels for me. With all this, who needs four-wheel drive?