This Mother’s Day, one mom shows biology doesn’t define motherhood

Sunday is Mother’s Day, the one day set aside to honor the mothers in our lives. There is an argument that moms should have more than 1 day to show our gratitude and appreciation, but that’s for another time.

Back to celebrating all things mom. Or perhaps those who are not biologically a mother, but fill the role just the same. Adoptive moms, foster moms, step moms, mother-like role models that people turn to in times of need, even pet moms. To honor moms everywhere, kids will craft a homemade card, maybe shower them with flowers, or attempt to use creative culinary skills with breakfast in bed. But one thing that most can agree on is that mothers do a lot, from wiping runny noses, tending to scrapes (physical and metaphorical), to being the biggest champion for whatever crazy dreams kids are pursing.

If someone googles the word mother, one entry that pops up is that “a mother is a protector, disciplinarian and friend. A mother is a selfless, loving human who must sacrifice many of their wants and needs for the wants and needs of their children. A mother works hard to make sure their child is equipped with the knowledge, skills and abilities to make it as a competent human being.”

There are plenty of women who fit the bill, in all sizes, races, ages, political parties, and economic class. Then there is Taylor Jordan. She certainly fits the description of mother, even as the children she cares for are not hers biologically. Most residents know Taylor Jordan as the owner of Black Birch Books in Wasilla. Jordan opened her bookstore with a vision of, “having a safe place that felt like another world, where people could escape.”

She also applies that philosophy as she and her husband have opened their hearts and home to foster children for several years. And just last week, one of them became their forever son.

Her son, Jack, became a permanent member of her family earlier this week. It was a journey that had some bumps along the way.

“He’d been waiting for a family for a long time in the lower 48, waiting for a family in Alaska, anybody,” Jordan recalled, and within weeks, brought Jack into her fold as a foster son.

“He was so against adoption, so against being put into a guardianship situation. He worked to avoid the topic altogether.”

But one day, the situation changed, when Jordan got a phone call advising her that she and her husband might want to return to the conversation of permanency with Jack.

“They (the case management team) said that he (Jack) thinks you two are great specifically in a family capacity,” but Jordan says that her and her husband were still skeptical and worried that their foster son was not fully on board with the idea. It wasn’t until Jack brought it up himself later that sincere conversations began about making him a permanent part of their home.

“He said ‘I don’t know what a mom and dad is, but you 2 are alright,’” Jordan recalls, adding that further conversations with Jack’s case team revealed that while he didn’t know exactly what a mother and father looked like, nor did he fully understand the dynamic of a family, that Jack liked seeing what a mom and dad looked like together, being loved the way a parent does, and what a healthy relationship felt like.

“We built him a bedroom, a wall-shelf filled with shoes, his goofy hoodies, and his skateboard.”

Everything seemed to come together in a meaningful Christmas gift exchange, and it fell into place that Jack would become a permanent part of the Jordan household. Even Jack’s case management team was stunned at the turn of events.

“His adoption was expedited, and the entire process was done in 3 months, from notification of intent to a court date where it was made official,” Jordan says.

While they have adopted Jack, Jordan and her husband continue to care for foster children. At any time, Jordan can have up to 3 foster kids in her home, and she does take on teenagers rather than little kids

“They are some of the most overlooked kids, and they need the most.”

On any given day, there are nearly 428,000 children in foster care in the United States.

According to the National Conference of State Legislature (NCSL), Child Welfare Project, nearly a quarter of the approximately 442,995 children in foster care are age 14 or older and more than 15,000 young people age out of foster care at age 18 each year. The challenges facing older youth in foster are immense.

As foster youth grow into adolescence and early adulthood, they must navigate the complex processes of becoming independent, responsible adults while developing a sense of personal and sexual identity, and establishing emotional independence and maturity. They must pursue educational and vocational goals while learning how to balance a checking account, obtain a car, and participate in a host of other critical activities.

This process does not automatically happen by virtue of turning 18, and in fact, studies have shown that youth don’t go straight from adolescence to adulthood, but rather go through a process called “emerging adulthood.”

Jordan is very open about giving the kids in her care the space they need, whether engaging in religion, having the space they need to be who they are, and providing what the kids need.

“They’re used to being told what to do, what to be, but some of these kids aren’t used to, ‘what do you need from me so I can take care of you?’” she says of her approach to her foster kids.

When asked why someone should think about adopting a teenager, especially if they are close to reaching adulthood, Jordan simply says, “What a disservice to a child to not be able to have a mom, give hugs, yell at them, or give them what they need.”

“It’s a very silly, wonderful way things worked out,” Jordan says with a smile.

Contact Mat-Su Valley Frontiersman reporter Katie Stavick at katie.stavick@frontiersman.com