Time to Break Some Bad Trash Habits

The surest of all sure signs that spring is sneaking its warmer self upon us arrived on the front door last week.

An assortment of those door knob flyers gathered there during the course of a couple of days.

Amongst the yard card offerings, the promises to make my driveway a seamless non-cracked sight to behold and the advertisements for window washing services was the annual warning from the Alaska Dept. of Fish and Game regarding trash and bears.

It is a pretty nifty looking warning.

It depicts a bear tackling a trash can made of that durable plastic sitting in a wooded environment with a black and yellow sign stating, “CAUTION CHILDREN AT PLAY.” The sign quotes state regulation prohibiting intentionally or negligently feeding bears and informs the reader that the penalty for being guilty of such is a fine of up to $310.

Huh, I wondered what the rationale for that specific dollar amount was ... but moving on.

Ah, yes.

It is indeed that time of the year again. Our ursine neighbors – I like to refer to them as Ed and Ned – are waking up from their long winter naps and they are not only cranky – because who wouldn’t be cranky having spent the last four to five months with a plug up your butt – they are also hungry.

This makes them this thing television commercials for a certain super yummy candy bar that I have managed to avoid for a good year now labeled as “hangry.”

They want something to eat and Mother Nature hasn’t seen fit yet to provide them an abundance of choices.

Thus, I am not telling you, dear reader, anything new that of course, the bears are going to visit the buffet we humans so stupidly leave spread for them.

As the pups – yep, Miss Mattie is back home with Miss Willie – and I took our pre-bedtime walk Monday night I noted how many trash cans were already at the curb for Tuesday morning’s pick-up. It was almost amusing to also note how many of those bear warning door knob hangars were still in place.

Almost.

Apparently the message that leaving the trash out is not a bear-friendly thing to do hadn’t been effectively communicated to everyone in my little bit of suburbia located a quick ten-minute hike from the Eagle River corridor where the bears – completely oblivious to this thing called human settlement except for its enticing scents – really ought to have a vote on the homeowner’s association board.

Perhaps I am a bit too punctual with the concern that the trash ought not be sitting at the curb for12 hours before the big green trucks come by. Then again, no one has ever accused me of being too punctual.

Putting the trash to the curb the night before is a habit.

It’s one those of us living on the Last Frontier need to break.

Yes, it is one more thing to do on trash day mornings. But golly, how much easier can our trash disposal get? A big truck with an automated arm driven by a guy with some decent spatial acuity to get said arm around the trash can in an efficient amount of time is available for a fee.

Now is the time of the year that the taking of the trash can to the curb needs to occur on the way to your transport to work.

Am I preaching?

Maybe.

Some of you are already in the choir on this one. Thank-you.

For the rest of you, here’s a shortened version of the sermon on bears and trash.

As humans, it is our responsibility to not intentionally endanger the creatures that live around us. Honesty compels us to admit that part of our attraction to Alaska is its amazing wildlife – especially the bears. If we can brag to our Lower 48 friends and relatives about our bear sightings and share those pictures we have snapped of these magnificent animals, we can and should evaluate how our actions impact the routines of these four-legged wonders of nature. Putting the trash out early does endanger their safety; their lives.

It’s time to get in the habit of minimizing the amount of time your full garbage can is at the curb.

Reach Amy Armstrong via email at: asocialbutterfly@gci.net.