To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse

Dan Ducey says he’s not an inspiration.

“I’m just a person,” he says. “I’m just a person who experiences disabilities and we cope the best we can.”

Ducey balks at the idea that others might find encouragement in his story of living with a disability for the past 17 years.

But we think his story is exactly the sort of success-against-the-odds tale to which people are naturally drawn.

It’s the kind of story that asks us all to consider how we would respond if an injury left us disabled, and whether we would be mentally and physically strong enough to be a full-time caregiver for our injured spouse.

Some among our neighbors already know first-hand the answers to these or similar questions. Hundreds of Mat-Su residents make it through their day-to-day lives with some form of disability, though most aren’t as severe as Dan’s. He has feeling from his chest up and movement in his neck, but he lives with pain levels that fluctuate between 5 and 8 on a scale of 10.

Still, Dan will be the first to tell you he is blessed to live in an accessible home, with a host of assistive technology tools that help him do ordinary tasks such as use the phone, computer, open the doors or operate the TV.

And he’s quick to acknowledge his life partner — Linda — who has been his full-time caregiver for half of their 34 years of marriage. Most of that time the two also were raising their children, Kellen and Kena, who were 11 and 7 when Dan was hurt in a body surfing accident in Hawaii in July 1993.

The Duceys were 20 and 21 years old when they met. He hitchhiked here planning to make some money and leave. She came to Alaska to find her fortune and a boyfriend.

“And the next day I met Dan,” she said.

There’s no way the two could have known how that day in 1993 would conspire to test their promise “to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.”

So often we see love portrayed in its simplest, untested forms.

Tomorrow is that cynical pinnacle of love branded as Valentine’s Day when lovers celebrate with gushing cards and big heart-shaped boxes of candy.

Today we tip our hat to love — in all its many forms and variations — and recognize that we are at our best when our actions are motivated by love.

Whatever our abilities or disabilities, love is what is best in all of us. And because of that, while Dan doesn’t see himself as an inspiration, his and Linda’s story is inspiring.