Understanding depth of human emotion advances the will of God

Religious Views, by Art Carney

I learned Christian ideals and the path to salvation during 12 years of parochial school, but the actual experience of adult life caused me to recognize that our trials and tribulations were probably being manipulated by our own soul, rather than God himself, who I reasoned, had given us free reign all along with our free will.

It made sense to me that my soul was the spiritual driving force of my life because it would reap the consequences of my thoughts and actions.

This line of thought prevailed until a midlife crisis forced me to reevaluate all of my beliefs, including the meaning of life that I had accepted, and after several years of struggling with questions about how we are "supposed" to live, I concluded the most important thing we must do in life is eat and sleep.

From that basic perspective, I commenced to discover a way to live a reasonably satisfying life that made sense and was achievable, but my aspirations toward spirituality reached an impasse when I realized that neither God Himself nor my own soul had ever given me any specific directions concerning my role in their existence.

Aside from religious speculation and its many interpretations that I could no longer accept faith, I had no reliable knowledge of God's will for me, and no way of knowing the spiritual needs of my soul.

As a human being, I knew and understood my personal needs and those of other people, and I was able to be -- or at least I knew how to become -- a good person, but on the other hand, I didn't know the needs of my own soul.

There was no way I could determine whether my soul needed to become more patient and kind or more passionate and loving, and even if I did, I didn't know how to make it happen.

In short, I knew how to be a good person to other people, but I didn't know how to be a spiritual person for the good of my soul.

I concluded that if there really is a "God with a plan" and a "soul with a destiny," then they are much better able to communicate with me than I with them, and I decided to pursue only those things in life that I thought would be good for myself and my loved ones, and to let my soul guide me in its own mysterious ways toward its own mysterious goal. That is to say, I attended to my human needs and left the supernatural side of life up to God and my soul.

My only certain knowledge was that I existed and had a will to survive -- in comfort if possible -- and though I was not overjoyed with my lot in life, I soon found that being "not unhappy" is a frame of mind where the simple things in life are not too hard to come by, and they are sincerely appreciated, but at the same time, an awareness of being on the cutting edge of change is always present. In a sense, being "not unhappy" is a more true to life state of being because it embodies a vague awareness of those ever-present realities we must deal with.

In the 20 some years since my "crisis," I have come to believe that human life is a fortunate opportunity that should be lived to the fullest measure possible, however, hoping to go beyond our natural state of being does not stand up to reason.

We are not saints, and our efforts and aspirations can only be utilized at a human level, which is not a bad thing.

For the most part, the hype of capitalism and the hopes of religion -- which are both necessary to our well being -- are blindly overworshiped at the two major alters of our culture, God and Mammon, while the value of humanness is blatantly underappreciated.

I suspect that our individual human experience -- both good and bad -- is what contributes to the good of our soul in spite of our spiritual ignorance.

It seems unlikely that our soul benefits from those personal victories and defeats that cause us to look deeply within ourselves during our greatest moments of joy or sorrow.

It is in such moments that our humanness is nourished.

In the larger scheme of things, human experience is a stepping stone to the next higher stage of evolutionary development, which is probably a spiritual realm of existence that is mostly beyond human comprehension.

For us mortals, achieving a deeper understanding of the depth and breadth of human emotion is probably the most effective way to advance the will of God.

Art Carney is a Wasilla resident and a frequent contributor to the Religion page.

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