Valley loses an angel

Resslin' Around, by Casey Ressler

This holiday season, the Valley is about to lose an angel who has made the lives of many families better through the years.

Janet Barnes, who founded the Mat-Su Breast Cancer Support Group, is heading south to Wisconsin in January to be with her family, including her mother, who turned 89 this year. While the Barnes family will no doubt welcome Jan home with loving arms extended, the Valley will surely feel her departure.

Barnes, a breast cancer survivor herself, started the group and has won national awards for her effort in promoting awareness and support. But framed award certificates don't begin to describe how much Jan has given through the years, and the difference she has made on not only breast cancer patients, but also their families.

You don't think of people like Jan until you are put in a situation you never envisioned in the first place. I had gotten to know Jan through breast cancer awareness stories I wrote with her assistance. I first met her after she received a national award, and thought she was a nice enough woman. I never thought I'd get to know her better a few years later.

Then, on Nov. 14, 2002, on a Thursday afternoon, my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer, obviously unexpectedly. You don't prepare for that day, and it is startling when you get that news. Immediately, I thought of Jan, and knew I had to call her. My mom is stubborn and is totally not a support group person, but she finally relented. After struggling through the first part of the weekend, I called Jan on Sunday morning, pulling her out of bed. Had her beloved Green Bay Packers not been on their bye week that weekend, she probably wouldn't have answered the phone. Talk about good timing.

It was one of the most personal, emotional phone calls I've ever made, and I had talked to Jan only a handful of times before, all in a professional setting. I was hoping to get her and my mother together for coffee to talk about everything. They did the next day, and Jan had prepared a bag for my mom, with a ton of information. It helped my mom tremendously.

That same Monday morning, there was an envelope in my box at work. Inside were three pink ribbon lapel pins, one of which I have worn on my coat each day since, compliments of Jan.

I know I'm not the only person, nor is my mom the only woman, to have that very same phone conversation with Jan. I'm guessing at least a hundred women have done the exact same thing. But at that moment in time, you need a friend more than anything, and Jan is that friend you turn to, whether you've met her a thousand times before or if you've never even heard of her before. Her comforting way makes you feel like an old friend -- and she helps you get through that darkest day.

The support group will go on, and as the odds suggest, more and more women -- and men -- will unfortunately be struggling in the fight against breast cancer. Jan will never be able to be replaced, however.

She doesn't realize how much her story and her compassion have helped others in a time of need, but the rest of us do.

She has touched the lives of many Valley families, and for that, everyone is grateful.

While it's sad she's leaving, Jan has vowed to return next summer to chase king salmon in Willow Creek, which ranks right up there with the Packers in terms of enjoyment (and heartache) for Jan, as well as to celebrate her granddaughter's 13th birthday. If you see her hooking into a giant king salmon, give her a wave and thank her for all she's done. Chances are, she has helped someone near and dear to your heart.

Casey Ressler (valleylife@frontiersman.com) is the Valley Life editor.