Valley tops in violence at home

October 22, 2006

By MARY AMES/Frontiersman

MAT-SU - With respect to incidents of domestic violence, the Valley comes in first.

Alaska is the number one state in the country in domestic violence reports per capita, said Don Benice, executive director of Alaska Family Services, and &#8220the Mat-Su Borough has the highest rate in Alaska.”

This is one of those times first place isn't best place.

While, traditionally, people think of domestic violence between couples, it applies to any living situation, including grandparents and children, Benice said.

AKFS offers legal help for women who need crisis intervention or help getting protective orders, he said. However, advocacy shouldn't be confused with providing legal counsel.

&#8220I want to emphasize,” Benice said. &#8220At no time do we act as a legal representative.”

But AKFS does try to help people in crisis negotiate through the logistics of their next steps.

The agency also offers a 24-hour crisis line: 746-4080.

Betsy Woodin, outreach coordinator, suggested calling the crisis line to sort out whether someone in your life has crossed the line into abusive behavior.

&#8220No question is the wrong question,” Woodin said. &#8220Keep asking. Say this is what he does and this is how it makes me feel.”

Some people in a violent home will rationalize the perpetrator's behavior, Woodin said. They will say they can handle it, but they don't know what will happen if they leave, she said.

&#8220They may say, ‘He doesn't break bones, he only bruises,'” she said. &#8220Or, ‘My dad used to really beat my mom, this is not so bad.'”

Women in threatening situations can seek refuge at the agency's 32-bed shelter, the only one in the Valley. Last year, AKFS logged in almost 7,000 shelter nights, Benice said. The shelter is funded only for women and children, with guidelines about who can stay there.

&#8220If they call, they can be evaluated over the phone and see if they meet the criteria,” Benice said. &#8220It is not for the homeless.”

To get a bed at the shelter, women have to have a legitimate domestic violence situation, not be intoxicated on drugs or alcohol, or have severe mental-health issues, he said.

Many times, folks in domestic violence situations do self-medicate, Woodin said.

&#8220We see that a lot as a way to survive an abusive relationship,” she said. &#8220We say, ‘If this isn't working, what would be better and how can we achieve that?' We advocate looking at outcomes, and support a person making choices.”

Being a victim of domestic violence is not about being strong or weak, Woodin said.

&#8220We have to look at the person making the choice to be violent,” she said. &#8220In the batterers program, we call it cognitive restructuring. We work on male entitlement, to change their thinking.”

Routinely, women leave the shelter and go back to the same situation, Benice said.

&#8220Our job is not to judge,” he said. &#8220It is to provide a safe environment.”

Women who arrive at the shelter usually get praise, because they made it through their situation and got to the shelter, Woodin said.

Although the shelter and other services are available, each individual has to make a choice to accept help, Woodin said. Caring friends and relatives can call, and the shelter can have resources handy in hope of an opportunity to present them. But the victims have to make their own choices.

&#8220Domestic violence usually escalates because it's allowed to happen,” Benice said. &#8220It gets worse as people make excuses. We need to deal with it head on.”

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. For more information, contact Alaska Family Services at 745-6097.

Contact Mary Ames at

352-2284 or mary.ames@

frontiersman.com.